the cello concertos 1-3. repeatedly. all day. that’s what it takes to get through the day, occasionally. it does, however, make me want to pick up my cello and play. i haven’t since september. since before the surgery. i wonder how completely rusty i would be?
i played hooky from work yesterday. the idea was to get a bunch of stuff done. the reality was that i slept in. a lot. but i do have clean underwear. and since i was wearing my last pair, that’s a good thing. clean socks, clean sheets, clean jeans, clean bras, and a clean grey hoodie sweatshirt. i’m going to consider it a good day for no other reason. my sights have previously been set too high, i believe.
few things piss me off more than animal cruelty. and here is a horrible story about bunnies. i am especially fond of bunnies, and especially sensitive to their plight. and this story makes me cry. the people in this story should be studied, because surely one of them is going to end up being a serial killer. anyway, the link above gives you the story, and something you can do about expressing your feelings towards animal cruelty. take a moment out and tell the Suffolk County DA what SICK BASTARDS Matteo Loverso, and his son, Rosario, are. so unnecessary and unacceptable. it sickens me. and my eye for an eye mentality leads me to believe that they should probably be skinned alive. just to make things fair.
Monthly Archives: February 2003
treading water in a sea of retarded sexuality and bad poetry
ripping off spinal tap is ripping off genius, you know.
i’m reading the best book right now. i highly recommend it, especially if you have any interest at all in writing. it’s called bird by bird: some instructions on writing and life by anne lamott. i liked it so much, i took the time to put the title in italics. whoa. i actually read about it on the NaNoWriMo website. National Novel Writing Month. which, i’ve mentioned before. [see december’s entry “i hate it when you keep secrets from me.”] my favorite chapter, so far, is on perfectionism. “Clutter is wonderfully fertile ground – you can still discover new treasures under all those piles, clean things up, edit things out, fix things, get a grip. Tidiness suggest that something is a good as it’s going to get.” granted, she was talking about writing. but i decided to just go ahead and apply that to my house too.
as per usual, i am having a hard time adjusting to my role of employee, from my roll as lazy slob, the role i like to play on the weekends. i’m still going through that massive book reading phase. one book after another after another after another. i’m in love with the library. going over my expenses for the last four months, i found that, on average, i spent more, per month, on books than i did on clothing for the entire 4 months. it would be even less, except that i had to buy a skirt and shoes for one wedding, and some kind of accessory for another wedding. oh, and bras. obviously. the point being, i sat on my ass this weekend, and read five new books.
why can’t i just do anything in moderation?
however, since it is monday, i did have the updated tard blog to look forward to. i don’t think i’ve mentioned the tard blog on here before. i urge you to check it out, it’s written by a special ed teacher. if, for some reason, you start to find it offensive, read the FAQ’s etc. if, for some reason, you STILL find it offensive, let me know and i will SLAP YOU. i think at first, if you start with the oldest archives, you feel guilty for laughing. and part of that may be the editing, as mentioned on the site itself. but it doesn’t take long before you realize how much she loves her students. the fact is, every profession that deals with situations that may be viewed as unfortunate, overwhelming or disturbing, does the exact same thing! hell, anyone who has to deal with public at all, does this. believe me, when i did phone tech support, i was as nice as pie, completely patient. but after some calls, i would shred the customer’s alleged technical IQ. because some people can be rude, or condescending or stubborn or whiny or just plain WRONG. i had one customer who expressed his surprise that i could fix his computer issues because i was “a girl. and girl’s aren’t usually very good at stuff like this.” “wow! thanks! i guess you learn something new every day.” you don’t get to give people honest answers in situations like this. you give the honest answers to your friends and coworkers after the fact. so what’s my point? oh yeah, don’t be offended by the tard blog because if you do, you aren’t getting it. so just don’t read it.
besides, if you read the show and tell entry for 2/10, and don’t laugh. i don’t want to know you.
amber kinkart
that’s my bond girl name. i am not all that excited about it. i wanted to be an evil slutty russian villainess. but i sound like that, that scientist girl with the glass. who ends up being hot hot hot when she takes them off. but is really just caught up in the spy game. probably because she “discovered something.” or she just “knows something she shouldn’t.” but like i told everyone here, at least i get to have sex with bond.
so about the seminar friday. we did an exercise that was supposed to help us answer a HOW question. we picked a card out of a deck of voyager tarot. it was more than one deck all mixed together. well, deb and i both picked the same card. sorrow. we had no idea where to go with that, for our questions. they weren’t so much questions as goals we wanted to achieve, we were supposed to use the card and our intuition to answer the question “how are we going to achieve this?” when asked what i thought it meant, i held up both of our cards and said it meant we were well matched as friends. i don’t think were terribly insightful that evening.
persistent and often intense though dull lower abdominal pain
friday, after work, evildeb and i went to a seminar on intuition. i don’t know, we just felt it was the right thing to do. anyway, before it began, we had dinner. we chose a restaurant directly across the street from the seminar. consequently, we had many cocktails. no one had to drive until after the seminar, why not? i think we felt we could tap into the intuition more effectively if we were buzzed. and so we were. pretty dang buzzed.
the seminar was only two hours, and frankly, we didn’t even understand the first hour. not anyone’s fault but our own. i could tell we’d be trouble, if we weren’t careful, so we had to write back and forth to each other. at least that kept us quiet. but i am sure it’s still rude. if only the other people knew what a pain in the ass i am in class when i am giddy. and with evildeb there, i’d be super motivated. the only paper we had was my franklin covey brain. Æ. there are some pretty crazy free form notes in the first few days of january, days i didn’t use because i still had the cranium pages in. didn’t like those pages. too white and boring. so i replaced them with the new shoebox ones. they got rid of that damn old lady cartoon, and went back to every day looking different. i hate that old lady. so yes, i wasted money by buying two sets of 2003 pages, but what are you going to do? aesthetics are important. i gave the cranium pages to mary to use. so they didn’t go to waste and she got free pages. that’s nice, isn’t it?
basically, one thing i noticed is that while i have a lot of metaphysical and spiritual curiosity, i don’t always like the other people who attend these type of functions. some of them seem to just try to be very very smart and deep and philosophical. they come across pretentious. one girl asked a question that sounded something like this, “if thought is energy, and therefor matter, than doesn’t it stand to reason that blah blah blah blah, manifesting itself into something tangible and blah blah blah blah collective unconscious blah blah blah FOURTH DIMENSION, blah blah blah intuition?” seriously, she brought up the fourth dimension. what is the fourth dimension anyway? is it time? is it a software product? is it where you go when you dream? i don’t know, WHO CARES!! it was a ridiculously pedantic question to ask. and james answered perfectly:
“ok. yes. whatever you say.”
take THAT you pretentious girl in a pink knit hat despite the fact that the room was at least 80 degrees. i think that hat was cooking her brain. deb says that all the women in the room were in love with him. she’s probably right. we loooooove a sensitive and spiritual guru, don’t we girls. 🙂
so anyway, back to the people that bother me.i also don’t like the rabid “new agers.” i’m a very skeptical person. i think that is ok. i think skepticism is a philosophy that does not believe in absolute knowledge. correct? that’s good. THAT’S an open mind. so i’m skeptical. i like to look at things from all sides, and i like a little balance in my life. i like a little logic in my spirituality, and a little magic in my science. know what mean? i’ve discovered that people who have absolute blind faith make me uncomfortable. it’s like tossing away your brain. and your free will. have faith, that’s fine, but continue to make whatever it is you have faith in, earn your respect. don’t let your faith keep you from learning new things. so, when people seem to just glom on to whatever is being said, and ask questions that just affirm them to the side of the speaker, they appear needy to me. needy and a little dumb. and it’s not like intuition is even a mystical subject! it’s a brain thing.
i shy away from the touchy feelie stuff as well. i’m not into group therapy, nor am i into group meditation. it does not work for me. it’s a solitary journey. both meditation and therapy. that’s just the kind of girl i am. i don’t like it when people put cutsey angel faces on my spirituality. it cheapens it. i don’t need my theology mass marketed to me. so it’s fine if you want to hug strangers and share your golden light with them in a circle, while meditating on your angel guide. go for it. you may annoy me, but i will probably keep it to myself, as long as you don’t hug me.
short story long, some of the people in the seminar were those kind of people. they bugged me. but, i kept that to myself. well, myself and evildeb. all i want, is a little practicality balanced with my mysticism. is that so wrong? i think it’s very bhudda of me. the middle path.
and now this post is too long to tell you the actual experience of the workshop. so we’ll continue tomorrow. today, apparently, was all about me venting about the gentlemen who sat in the back, who thought a deep cleansing breath was all you needed to fight a mood disorder. for pete’s sake.