faster pussycat... type! type!

I'm not a big fan of Ann Coulter, but I've never read any of her books, either. I'm basing this opinion on interviews I've seen, articles I've read, and the titles of her books. So whenever I find something that proves I am right in thinking she's an idiot, it makes me feel happy. [from Wonkette] Along the same lines, I'm not a big fan of George W. Bush. I am not any kind of fan of his at all. So whenever I see something that proves I am right in thinking he's an idiot, it makes me feel scared and angry. [also from Wonkette] Work to prevent the spread of AIDS worldwide or threaten the effectiveness of international AIDS organizations in order to propagandize your moral values to world that is made up of more than just Southern Baptists? It's a conundrum, to be sure.

whew. That was serious. How 'bout that word "propagandize?" I put thought into that.

Oh, one more thing, I don't watch the Oscars. I quit watching it after Titanic won for best picture. But I can't really escape all the reports about it afterwards, usually on the radio. So, I can tell you that yes, Sean Penn does indeed sound like a dick, or maybe he just takes things too seriously. But what really got me is Hillary Swank. "I don't know what I did in this life to deserve all this," ..... "I'm just a girl from a trailer park who had a dream." Doesn't that make you want to slap her?

Evildeb and I have deep deep prejudices against Ms. Swank. We don't like her. But we can hardly argue with the fact, after last night's acceptance speech that she's got Pluck. And probably Spirit, as well. Can't get out of the trailer parks without having Pluck. Oh, and I believe you also need a "whole lotta heart."

blah blah blah.

Posted by jodi at 12h34 | Permalink | Comments (10)

Ok, kids... excellent discussion of books down below. I love getting recommendations from people. [Hey, loon... remember that one time, on pff when we were all giving each other book ideas and people got mad and then i brought up Nanowrimo and they sent me hate mail? that was fun. good times.] Anyway, it gave me more inspiration to finish Satan's Bookclub. The design is, for the most part, done. Few teaks here and there. I am actually working on the content right now. I swear to god, I am actually going to finish it soon.

Dr. Stevil has 14 Pepsi cap free tunes for iTunes and I only have one. And I drink far more soda than he does. He is so cheating.

Posted by jodi at 12h56 | Permalink | Comments (7)

Oh, I can give you lots of mystery recommendations, but it depends on what type of mystery you like to read. You got your cop stories, your P.I. story, your amateur detective stotries, your cozies, your noir, your psychological thrillers, historical, victorian, medical, whodunnit, suspense, courtroom mysteries, british mysteries... even things called mini-genres like "Culinary Mysteries, Feline Mysteries, Craft Mysteries." In general, I stay away from the gimmicky stuff. I don't like all the culinary mysteries out there, I've never read a single one that was worth the money the library paid to have it on their shelves. But that's just me. And, I like amateur detective stories, but you have to be careful. For some reason, there are a lot of hair dressers solving mysteries these days. Latest trend in amateurs. With the exception of Dame Christie and Elizabeth Peters, I've stayed away from the cozies, as well.

I like grittier stuff, and I like noir. When I first made the switch from young adult mysteries to grown up mysteries, one of my favorite authors was Rex Stout, who wrote the Nero Wolfe series. And that remains one of my favorites to this day. Set in the 30's, lots of noir, lots of style and wit. I've read every single one of his books, several times over. Raymond Chandler, also very good. Robert B. Parker is famous for his Spenser series, but I can't read them without picturing Robert Ulrich in my head and I don't want him in my head. So I stick to his other character series, Sonny Randall. I also like stuff with forensics in it, I like to read about collecting evidence.

Maybe I should just make you a list of some of my favorites. Almost everyone has some element of humor in it.

Robert Crais - Elvis Cole Series. He has two other non-Elvis books as well. He's funny and dark, and I can't resist either one of those.
Laura Lippman - Tess Monoghan series, she starts out as an unemployed reporter and turns into a PI. Not a silly female detective series, she gets seriously messed up at times.
Sue Grafton - Kinsey Milhoun Alphabet series. A staple in any mystery library.
Sparkle Hayter - any of her books, she's what you might call Tart Noir. You might call her that, because that is what she calls herself.
Rex Stout - Nero Wolfe series.... brilliant.... genius.
Agatha Christie - duh.
Elizabeth Peters - Amelia Peabody series. Set in turn of the century Egypt, usually, it's full of historical, political, archeological goodness. Plus, Amelia is sassy.
Jim Butcher - Harry Dresden series. Won't be found in the mystery section, but rather sci-fi, as he is a wizard. Full of fun preternatural stuff.
Carl Hiaasen - wacky environmental mysteries set in Florida.
Elmore Leonard - he's great with the dialog, kinda old school.
Raymond Chandler - you won't go wrong there.

And, I cannot recommend this book enough, even though it is probably not in the Mystery section,

Down on Ponce, by Fred Willard. One of your better buddy/crime novels. I wish I could write like this guy. This is actually the first Satan's Bookclub Selection, so you might as well get started now.

General tip, stay away from any books that mention cats doing something in the title, anything that starts with "The Cat Who..." or any books that give partial author credit to a cat.

PS: Go read "Down on Ponce."

Posted by jodi at 18h59 | Permalink | Comments (20)

Today is Louise's anniversary, her Alien Anniversary. She moved to the US four years ago today. Hooray! I thought she should celebrate by eating a cheeseburger or a hot dog, and then maybe some apple pie, drink some Coke. But instead she says she will celebrate the way she celebrates all things in life "by gorging myself on Chinese food." Chinese food? That's doesn't sound terribly americanish. "It's AMERICAN-Chinese food. No scary chicken feet type dishes." I guess that's ok, then.

This explains so much about my professional life. From the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology
Unskilled and Unaware of It: How Difficulties in Recognizing One's Own Incompetence Lead to Inflated Self-Assessments
Justin Kruger and David Dunning
Department of Psychology
Cornell University

I apologize in advance, I got this link from a blog that was on the updated list at MovableType, but I can't remember which one. So, everybody be aware, I did not stumble across this article all on my own. Despite my über valuable B.A. in Psychology, I rarely peruse the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Although, that might change, that article is golden. I can easily see myself muting the polycom during a conference call and saying, "it's ok, 'one of the... features of such incompetence that the person so afflicted is incapable of knowing that he is incompetent. '. He can't help it." And just knowing that will make it all better.

Speaking of aliens, Louise ditched me yesterday, she did not go to the book reading/signing. She decided to stay late and do her job and finish her Big Reports. Whatever. Personally, I think she was scared because she knew that her streak would bust, that this author would failed to be moved by her accent. She's afraid to tarnish her winning record. It's too bad, really. Because Robert Crais was very entertaining and a very very handsome man. She might have enjoyed having him under her Alien Scottish Spell. [or A.S.S as I just this minute decided to call it because I am just THAT brilliant.] But... we'll never know.

Posted by jodi at 13h53 | Permalink | Comments (8)

Tonight I am going to an author reading/signing at Third Place Books, to see Robert Crais, author of one of my favorite mystery/detective series, Elvis Cole. Not only is Elvis Cole one of my many Fictional Boyfriends, but this series also features Joe Pike, another Fictional Boyfriend. Besides all of that, they are just great books. I mean, you'd enjoy them even if you didn't have literary crushes on the characters. It's not a requirement. They latest book just came out, I bought it, devoured it, and now have to wait for more. I hate that! It's always fun when you discover a new mystery/detective series you really like, you have all those books ahead of you to enjoy. For example, when I started reading Sue Grafton, she was already on Q! I had A-Q to enjoy! But man, it hurts when you've read everything out, and have to wait for more. I had to wait two some years for "R" to show up. I shudder to think what happens when we reach "Z." So Louise and I are going to the reading, and I am going to have my book signed, and we'll see if yet another author falls prey to Louise's accent. Perhaps I shall ask Louise to politely request that Mr. Crais hurry up and write more Elvis Cole. He will be unable to resist her darling accent. As we all know.

Josh is out of ICU. Which is good and bad. He's also sick and nauseous, and now that he doesn't have ICU watching over him, someone has to sit with him pretty much 24/7. Because he's throwing up every few minutes and coughing up blood. Both of which cause him a great deal pain. So, be careful what you wish for, I guess. The nausea is most likely from the pain medication and the nasty headaches he is having. The coughing is from the cold he's developed. The blood is not from his lungs, but just his guts, I guess. Poor kid, nasty headaches, coughing up blood, throwing up everything you try to eat... that would be bad enough without all the other stuff. They've pumped anit-barf drugs into his iv and they were going to give him a sleeping pill last night, because he hasn't been able to sleep. And before I hung up with Faye, she said he'd just eaten a soda cracker and a popsicle. Hopefully he kept it down, because I'm sure that would help. Too have food in his system. And some sleep. He's got such caring friends, however. They have the patient fridge stocked with vegan foodstuffs for him, they come around and give Faye food and breaks, sit by Josh's bedside and read to him, stay with him throughout the nights so Faye can go home to sleep. It's amazing. All these people who come by several times a day to check on him. There was a man there yesterday who Josh met feeding people in the park on Sundays. Something Faye says he's done since High School. He came by twice yesterday. And they all love Josh.

Today Faye is meeting with a lawyer, and will try to get ahold of the police report, to figure out what's what.

Posted by jodi at 12h41 | Permalink | Comments (6)

If I were in a band, this is exactly the type of video I would want. I've always wanted to visit a Burtonesque universe.

Evildeb took the dragon test and claims she's also a black dragon. Which is impossible, since we are polar opposites. While I agree she is probably not a white dragon, she can't be black. I was black first. She should be red or something, that sounds more like her. Exhibit A: she has the S.A.D. You can't be a dragon of the night and complain about not getting enough sun. Black dragons do not believe in the S.A.D. Red dragons love the sun and summer and noon. That's Evildeb. She's just jealous, and she can't let me have anything for myself, so she claims to be black. Soon I will have to smite her.

Josh is still in intensive care, but we hope he will be moved today. Once the threat of internal bleeding has passed, it's on to healing all the bones and rehab. The doctors told my stepmom he will have to learn to walk again, once his pelvis heals. We'll know more once he is moved into the rehab wing. He's got a long road ahead of him. I spoke with him on the phone and that made me feel much better. He seemed to be in pretty good spirits, despite the pain and 4 missing front teeth. I badgered him into eating whatever the hospital tells him to eat, even if it's not vegan. Or I will come down there and feed it to him. I'm also relieved that Faye is there, and can get direct info from the doctors. The cop present at the accident did indeed give Josh a jaywalking ticket. I imagine he stuck it in his coat pocket before they took him away in the ambulance. Cold, man... really cold. The driver got a speeding ticket. Faye is going to get a copy of the police report and already has an attorney, so we can investigate any culpability she, or her insurance rather, has. Hopefully enough to get new teeth.

It's going to be tough, he won't be able to work for a while, he won't have any money, and I doubt he will be able to live without assistance. But you know, he has amazing friends with really big hearts. I'll say one thing for the punk rock/ vegan/ political activist/ nomad lifestyle, you make a lot of good friends all over the country. One of them is flying in from Illinois today. And the local Denver group is talking about having some kind of benefit to raise money to pay his rent for a couple of months. That's just incredible. He's a pretty lucky boy.

I have plans to go over to Louise's house tomorrow to watch "Shaun of the Dead" and eat some kind of animal flesh. Which seems appropriate when one is watching a movie about cannibalistic zombies. As long as it's not human flesh, or flesh from an aquatic type organism, it's a-ok with me. Okay, also no animals that I have kept as a pet. And no lamb or veal. I can't handle that. Let's keep the flesh in the cow-chicken-pork range.

Posted by jodi at 12h04 | Permalink | Comments (4)

A BLACK Dragon Lies Beneath!

My inner dragon is one of two harmonious dragons (the other is White). Deep down I'm dark, foreboding, and just a tad wicked. *evil grin* Fun, no? Click the image to try the Inner Dragon Online Quiz for yourself.

"If there ever was an apparition of Evil to strike terror into the hearts of man and beast, your Inner Dragon is it. Blackies are a fairly common dragon and are considered one of two harmonious dragons. Your antithesis is the White Dragon. Together, you two embody the Yin and Yang concept of eastern religions (especially Taoism).

But of course, being a Blackie on the inside you couldn't care less about that religion garbage. You like to chomp things, cause trouble, make off with people's significant others, and so on and so forth. Your favorable attributes are night, the Moon, the stars, dreams, psychic guidance, balancing Karma, seeking truth, and helpful dark magic. Everybody's still got to watch out for you though, because deep down you like to smite at random and have a nasty breath weapon combination of Fire and Acid. *evil grin* Fun, no? "

Thanks for all the emails and comments about Josh. Currently, I do not know much more, but here is what I do know:
- he's in intensive care with a lacerated spleen, kidney and liver. However, they have not yet felt the need for surgery.
- he has a broken hip, pelvis and shoulder. All his front teeth are knocked out.
- his brain and spine seem fine, my stepmother has spoken with him on the phone.
- he's in a lot of pain, and therefore fairly doped up.

He was walking across the street, in a crosswalk, two cars were stopped at the red. While in the cross walk, the light turned green as he was stepping out from in front of the two stopped car, another car came down the third lane and hit him. Technically, he was jaywalking at that point.

She should be in Denver around five, and I am anxious to hear the details after she talks to the doctor. It's been difficult to get information over the phone, due to privacy laws. And when she speaks to Josh, he's not very coherent. I would feel a lot better if he were out of intensive care. Those two words scare me. it's the internal damage that is keeping him there. Hopefully, the bleeding is minimal, they won't have to operate, and the organs will regenerate and repair themselves.

Mostly I feel kinda sick about the whole thing. And, naturally, my brain looks for any reason to be distracted from work and chores, and this a really good one. I wish I was there. Or curled up in a little ball. One of the two. We'll see what Faye says after she gets there. His recovery is going to be pretty long, so there may be other times he needs me there more. I am still really worried about the cost of his recovery. Especially the dental work. So I am going to have to win the lottery. Seriously. For reals this time.

Posted by jodi at 14h49 | Permalink | Comments (11)

Now, see, I set some limits on myself, by telling me I could not blog, or read the blogs of others, until I finished a few key items on my to-do list at work, and at home. I finished the big one at work today, but I no longer care that much about the other items. My brother was hit by a car today. I don't know a lot of details, I've been getting emails from my stepmother. I know he got hit when he stepped off the curb. I know that at one point he was conscious and talking. The last time Faye talked to anyone it was one of his friends, and they don't know the extent of the damage yet. They know most of his teeth were knocked out, he has a lacerated spleen, liver damage, a broken pelvis and a broken hip. Right now, Faye is grabbing some sleep so she can leave early and drive from Phoenix to Denver. So that's all I am going to know tonight. Not only is his condition serious, his recovery will probably be long. And he is broke and without insurance. The state will probably cover the life saving stuff, but not the physical therapy, or extensive dental work that will be needed. I don't even know if I should be even worrying about that right now, maybe I should just be hoping he pulls through tonight? I just don't know.

My stomach is in knots....

Posted by jodi at 19h50 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Please excuse brief hiatus, I cannot come out to play until my room is clean and my homework is done.

Posted by jodi at 7h01 | Permalink | Comments (2)

A couple of weeks ago, someone had a box of Tagalongs at work. Girl Scout cookies. Now I have put in an order for girl scout cookies, with the first order form I saw put up by some parent at my Place of Employment. But they won't be in until the first week of March. And yet... someone had a box of Tagalongs already. So, today, when I went to Safeway, I was hoping to see some Gscouts outside the store, hocking their wares. Sadly, no scouts.

Speaking of fundraising, however, I don't know if they do this were y'all live, but here organizations take coupons to the products with a sticker that says "oh, you can use this coupon if you want, but if you are a GOOD PERSON you'll donate the savings to the St. Muckymuck Academy Varsity Cheerleading Team." I don't know why, but I always resent these stickers. They piss me off. Like you have any choice! Of course you are going to donate the money. Otherwise the checkout clerk will look at you like you are a cold hearted bitch. And she'll point you out to all the other clerks, "there's the girl who wouldn't give TWENTY FIVE CENTS to help the St. Muckymuck Academy Varsity Cheerleading Team raise money to go to the Cheerleading Championship in Daytona!" Boo-hiss, cold hearted bitch. It's true, I don't care about cheerleaders. I don't let them wash my car, when I see them standing on the corner in their bikini tops, holding up signs and whooping. I wash my own damn car. Well, I drive it through the touch free car wash. I think the parents of the St. Muckymuck Academy Varsity Cheerleading Team should fork over the cash so their privileged children can go to cheer camp. I'm less inclined to get annoyed when it's something like a softball team trying to raise money for equipment, but I still harbor this irrational resentment.

When I was a kid, we never taped coupons to things in grocery stores, we had to sell things ourselves. And I was shit at it. Which is probably why my career with the girl scouts was so short. [although, I like to tell people I got kicked out of the scouts for beating up a Brownie.] In high school, I belonged to the more service oriented organizations; Red Cross, Key Club. Or academic ones like French Club and National Honors Society. Key Club fund raisers weren't bad, because we sold candy to our Ritalin deprived classmates. Blow-pops, I believe. They were a big hit. but NHS was horrible! They made us sell terrible trinkets door to door. Christmas tacky christmas ornaments and shit like that. Nothing you could sell to your fellow students. I think, one year, I went to maybe two houses before I decided that a career in sales was not for me. I never did well at fund raising. Some kids had parents who would take their order forms to work with them, and hit up their coworkers. Not me, my mom said I should do it myself. She probably thought it would build character or something. But I am chock-full of character! So I'd sell one to my parents and two to myself but make up fake names. That's it.

So today, I when I took down a box of Honey Bunches of O's [with Strawberries] a millisecond before before this mom was going to tape a coupons on said brand of cereal, I didn't give in. She gave me a look, with a little smile, and I think I was supposed to hold out my box of cereal so she could tape a coupon on it. Instead, I gave her a look that clearly stated, "get your god damn fund raising coupon away from me, soccer mom! Let your kids go out and shill crap themselves! I hear it builds character."

Posted by jodi at 13h05 | Permalink | Comments (2)

The Man: I'm cleaning my cube.
*Jodi, Evildeb and KK giggle, because sounds like a naughty joke.*
Evildeb: Is that a euphemism?
Jodi: I'm CLEANING my CUBE. Anything can be a euphemism if you say it right.
Evildeb: Well, I'm installing Publisher.
Jodi: I'm INSTALLING PUBLISHER. Hmmmm... what would that mean?
Evildeb: It means I am wasting my time.
*Jodi and Evildeb laugh uncontrollably. Because it's a Mocking Publisher joke.*
Jodi: From now it, is is a official. "Installing Publisher" is another way of saying you wasted time.
The Man: What would 'Extracting a DMG file' mean?
Jodi: Ummmm... that would mean that you had to spend considerable time in the facilities. The restroom.
*Everyone laughs because it's a poop joke*
Jodi: You know what? I am going to share our new euphemism with the whole world!
Evildeb: Is that a euphemism?

Pretty soon I am going to have to create a jodictionary, to explain all my new words and phrases.

Posted by jodi at 14h25 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Love #2
I believe that I have mentioned, in the last few days, that I have just started watching Season Four of Oz. And so has Fee. We are, more or less, in sync. So we've been discussing and dissecting. My absolute favorite character is Ryan O' Riley. That is the best character ever. He's so sneaky and manipulative; and utterly charming. He gets away with everything because he's slicker than snot. Of course, he's a bit psychotic, and he'll order your husband killed if he falls in love with you. Oh, such passion! It's ok, I don't even have a husband. Earlier this week, I declared my love for Ryan O 'Riley, he is my Fictional Prison Inmate Boyfriend. Fee says that he is "too cocky" for her. *snicker* cocky!

"Fee, I want to save Ryan O' Riley from his life of incarceration and violence. I know my love will save him, it will bring him peace. If I just love him enough. And really, it's my fault, if I didn't make him so angry, he wouldn't have to hit me. He apologized for it! Said it would never happen again and that he loved me. If I just learned to be sweeter, have dinner ready on time, fix myself up a bit, and never ever ever run out of beer again, we would be so happy!"

Yes, I know it's a television show. I'm joking. Some guy ever hit me, I'd flatten him.

Posted by jodi at 21h12 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Oh Valentine's Day... love is in the air. There's just a whole lotta love, and don't think I am immune. I declared my love 5 times in the last week. Here is the first installment of my touching stories of love. A Valentine's Day special, if you will.

Love #1
When people come to you with technical problems, they don't always posses the communication skills to tell you their troubles. An example would be a customer calling up phone support and saying, "My Microsoft is broken." You don't know if they mean windows, or word, or office or what. Although I do live in Redmond, I don't work at Microsoft, but I have heard the equivalent with my customers. So customers or coworkers that give clear issue statements gain a special place in my heart. After having just such a "my microsoft is broken" experience with a coworker, I was blown away by my next issue. The customer had written a 3 page letter describing, in great detail, the workflow followed to create their document. To the most minute detail. The minnie minnie minnie minute detail. The only problem was, with that much information, it was impossible for me to really understand what was going on, couldn't see the forest through the trees and all that. And the letter had a spooky sort of cadence to it. I read it out loud to Evildeb. "It places a .5 point keyline around the graphic. It does this whenever it is told. Or it gets the hose again, doesn't it Precious?"

Regardless, it was a thing of beauty. And I told Evildeb, "I love this guy! I love this customer! I. LOVE. THIS. CUSTOMER. This letter is priceless."
"Why don't you marry him then?"
"Maybe I will, except I don't know his name, or even if it's a man. Our love, and union, may be damned in the eyes of our current administration."

Posted by jodi at 21h12 | Permalink | Comments (2)

I played Lunchtime Intraoffice Interdepartmental Poker today. I had not been able to play since this summer. The regulars had all received nicknames since I last played. Miss Kitty, Ace Barracuda and Boss. Here's the thing about my Poker Playing stratagem, you will never figure it out. Never. Because it's fluid and depends on the phases of the moon, my blood sugar level, what day of the week it is, how much sleep I had the night before, the total number of ounces of Dr Pepper I have consumed, and whether or not I want to make my co-players cry. And whether anyone has brought any candy to the table. My stratagem floats like a butterfly and stings like a bee, baby! Sometimes, I play with my cajones. I'm all up in their faces, betting hundreds with only a 6 high. Distracting everyone with my witty color commentary. Other times, I am cautious and quiet, and I use that time to learn about my opponents. But, most importantly, no matter how many times I watch Celebrity Poker, I cannot recall what one with any skill at all would do. I don't like to be limited by the advice of experts anyway.

Today, I played with my cajones. Big bets with nothing to back it up, and for the most part, it was working. I did get pocket Ace's, which I decided to call pocket tee-pee's. However, I think they are called pocket rockets. At one point, I took all of Miss Kitty's chips. And I was in the lead major. But I blew it. I lost everything. Boss took all the chips, i don't know how, I thought I was a shu-in for Big Poker Kahuna today. Oh well, my sparkling poker personality, color commentary, and cajones did earn me my poker nickname. Miss Conduct. Can't win if you don't play, baby.

Posted by jodi at 16h51 | Permalink | Comments (4)

We join Evilded and Jodi, midway through, what started out as, an actual conversation about work related items.

Jodi: Wow... you're right, that is bad. You should write that up.
Evildeb: I'm gonna.
Jodi: Excellent, see that you do that, Deb.
Evildeb: I'm on it, Jodi.
Jodi: Good to know.
Evildeb: I am on top of it.
Jodi: Are you all over it?
Evildeb: I am on top of it and all over it.
Jodi: Like white on rice, except for brown rice which is, obviously, brown rather than white?
Evildeb: Like lightening on that one guy who played Jesus in that one movie.
Jodi: errr... What?
Evildeb: That movie, about Jesus...
Jodi: The Mel Gibson movie?
Evildeb: Yeah. The actor that played Jesus was hit by lightening 3 times. While filming the movie.
Jodi: No way... did they not see that as a sign that God was pissed off about the script? Or the direction of his character in the film?
Evildeb: No, they thought that it meant God was happy!
Jodi: Uh-uh, sorry, that was Jesus... that was the Son, and he was saying, "Wait a minute... that's not how it happened!!"
Evildeb: Definitely unhappy.
Jodi: "Oy... you guys... hey.... LAY OFF MY PEOPLE! Quit picking on the Jews."
Evildeb: "Lay off my peeps."
Jodi: "Come on... give the Jews a break already."
Evildeb: Yeah... give the Jews a kit-kat bar.
Jodi: Deb, as a partial Jew, how do you feel about that?
Evildeb: as a half Jew? I'm totally in favor of it. I love kit-kat bars. I bet my dad does too. Except he's diabetic.

This is a transcription of a spoken conversation, as such, it has been edited to maintain flow and because there is some stuff I don't remember. But the gist of it is there. I author of this blog takes no responsibility for accuracy with regards to the statement "that one guy who was jesus in that one film was hit by lightening three times while filming." I asked for no verification, nor was any provided.

Posted by jodi at 11h56 | Permalink | Comments (4)

My sanrio.com Hello Kitty* horoscope for today:
(February 8th) Try a new way of expressing yourself creatively. Don't worry about making a perfect piece of art; start telling your story and it'll go from there.

Which was a coincidence because I was just thinking about the way I blog. I don't spend a lot of time on word-smithery when writing my blog entries. [although, I did give a serious two seconds to thinking before I came up with the word "word-smithery"] I just write off the cuff. By the seat of my pants. And other metaphors involving clothing. And I guess that's a good thing. All the books on writing say you should start your draft off by writing without editing or critiquing. It's just, this isn't a draft. This is basically it. I do go up to the blog to check to see if things look ok, and sometimes, I see mistakes which I go back and fix. But that's mostly spelling, punctuation or missing words. So I admire the blogs I read that show a great deal of care and thought in regards to the words used, the tone set. And I ask myself, "why can't I take that time and that amount of care?" But then I see a shiny object, and I'm off somewhere else.

Wait a second... that's yesterday's horoscope! Sun of a bitch. [I actually typed the word "sun" and as I went to change it, I decided to leave it because your horoscope is your sun sign and there's all this symbolism and shit. Which is really deep. Straight from the seat of my pants.]

*footnote: The sanrio.com horoscopes list my favorite things, as a Libra, to be: Winning Arguments, Designer Clothes, Sugar. I'm not sure about the designer clothes, I'm not really a clothes horse. However I do like shoes and handbags. I am in total agreement with the winning arguments and sugar.

Posted by jodi at 10h28 | Permalink | Comments (2)

...Evildeb only reads my blog when I tell her I wrote about her. Which I only do about a third of the time. And when she reads it, she usually comments. Because she is unable to let me have the last word in anything. If she could, she would temporarily take over my blog just for the purpose of proving that. By commenting, she is trying to leave her mark, one that says "you cannot have something that I cannot have! I won't let that happen!" She's so cute, she doesn't even like blogs. Although, if she took the time to write one herself it would be entertaining, but I think she is more comfortable responding and reacting. I told her about the post from a couple of days ago, because I was unsure if I was a saint, in general, for sharing my wit and humor with my co-workers. Or if I was a saint for putting up with her. Probably the later.

This is how every argument with Evildeb goes, and keep in mind an argument can spring up from the most innocuous of comments, we argue constantly. Example:
Solution 1 in that document is wrong.
No, YOU'RE wrong.
I'm not wrong, the solution is wrong. YOU are wrong!
Your FACE is wrong!

"Your face is..." fill in the blank is the end of all arguments. Unless you want to pull out the extra ammo of "Well, your mother's face is..." fill in the blank. But you gotta be careful with that one, because it's only going to escalate from there. It might lead to pinching.

Posted by jodi at 18h32 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Sometimes I hate telling super active people my plans for the weekend. Because then they get all sad. The pause and say, "um.. yeah... I have no life either." What? I never said I had no life, I simply said that I have a lot of books I want to read, a web project I want to work on, and the first two discs of season 4 of Oz from Netlfix to watch. I work with people all week long. I look forward to Jodi time. It just so happens I did not have any plans with other humans, this weekend. By choice! No life, indeed.

I just did not happen to mention the most exciting part of my weekend. I discovered that I could apply for a Seattle Public Library card, even though I do not technically live within city limits. Because I work in Seattle. I did not know that. Louise knew it, but did not tell me, because she wanted to hold her dual library card ownership over my head, belonging to both the Seattle Public Library and the King County Library. [I belong to the KCL] Well, no more... because I figured it out. Ha-HA!! Surely, if everyone knew about that part of my weekend, they would not feel unduly sorry for me. TWO LIBRARY CARDS!!! Just wait until Louise gets back from Scotland. I'll flash that SPL card in her face.

Shut up! I did too have a delightful weekend! I like books and the library. And I definitely like season four of Oz. Although, I was a little depressed by the time I finished "Hey Nostrodamus" by Douglas Coupland. But a copious amount of web surfing and random blog reading rectified that.

*Today's subject title is dedicated to Fee, who is watching season 4 right along with me. It's an O'Reily quote! About a potato!

Posted by jodi at 13h47 | Permalink | Comments (2)

as we like to say in my family. Which is just more proof that i have a GINORMOUS brain. Knew it all long, after all, I carry the thing around on my neck every day. But if I had doubts, my headaches could squelch them. Woke up with a pounding headache, went through my day with a pounding headache, and left a half hour early with a pounding headache. You know, one of the things that does not help a headache is sitting at the computer all day writing and researching. The funniest part about my headache.... Evildeb wasn't even in the office today. She went down to see the babytechs with Dr. Stevil. It was quiet as a tomb in my pod today. Maybe it was evil withdrawal. I came home from work, went to bed and slept until 9. Now I'm awake and experiencing the post headache high.

Evildeb cannot sit through meetings. It is physically very painful for her. If she is not an active participant in the meeting, little pieces of her soul can be seen leaving her body... floating away from the top of her head. If you expect her to listen and retain information, you'd better make it appealing. It's not her fault, she's missing a certain synapse in her brain. To prolong her pain, turn the lights off and show a presentation on the wall. Even better, make it a white background, black helvetica text. That's it. Then she will be bored, tired, antsy AND depressed. God love her. So if I am sitting next to Edeb in a meeting, and there is a pad of paper between us, we'll often scratch comments or questions back and forth. I know it may appear rude, but believe me, I'm doing everyone a favor... keep her captive in a meeting room for too long, and she'll try to chew her own leg off to escape. Also, it just so happens, I am also miss firing at certain synapses. By providing me with a piece of paper, and an audience, I will be more apt to keep my sarcastic, but terribly witty, comments to myself. I have Meeting Tourette's.

Bad Employee #1: you know, i bet he folds his underwear into neat, uniformly sized underpants packets.
Bad Employee #2: you forgot to mention they are white.
Bad Employee #1: You are right of course. Resistance is futile!
Bad Employee #2: Kill the humanoid!

Posted by jodi at 1h13 | Permalink | Comments (7)

Just want to share with you some of the things I've been reading over the last day.

Can I get an amen here? Well... probably not from any of you people. But I feel all warm inside.

Please go read Debra's letter to the people who write the Canadian Ministry. It's genius.

I believe this is the first time I've ever linked to the newspaper from this particular hometown, out of many, of mine. There is a special, really really boring, place in hell for people like the Olivers, in which demons force them to live by their outrageous beliefs, keep them locked up in dark rooms, never let them read anything good, and keep really interesting secrets from them. Nobody is going to torture them, per se, they are just going to have to live in ignorance and under the laws of someone else's beliefs. Which are truly horrible and illogical beliefs in which all human beings are seen as dirty and morally corrupt. Oh... wait a minute.... [ It also reminds me to let you know that much progress has been made on Satan's Bookclub, on which they Oliver's will have a place of "honor." I finally settled on a design I like, and am planning to work on it this weekend. ]

I was reading the transcript from the live chat with Rod Nordland, Newsweek's Baghdad Bureau Chief on MSNBC.com. I found it very interesting, and I shall present to you my five favorite answers to questions. And yes, bonus points were given for wit and sarcasm.

Hellowell, ME: why does Bush care so much about what happens in Iraq when there are so many poor, sick, poverty-stricken people in the U.S.?
Rod Nordland: Who said he cares?

Hartford, CT: If the world were ruled by "Muslim law," what would it look like???
Rod Nordland: You mean by Islamic law? There are many different versions of that, depending on the society, the culture, the sect of Islam, and it's a bit unfair to generalize. But I suppose one quick answer is it would be as unattractive as, say, a world ruled by fundamentalist Christian law.

Bucharest, Romania: Hi! Do you really think that democracy is the best thing for Iraq? I mean it's obviously the best thing for some countries (like the U.S.), but is it the best thing for others? Maybe democracy and voting just doesn't fit them, just as royalty for example wouldn't fit U.S. And is that what democracy is all about: who isn't like us is against us, therefore we should try to impose democracy everywhere (by force!)?
Rod Nordland: We're going to invade Romania next, so just watch out. Belarus, they really need invasion. Moldavia, Central African Republic. So many dictatorships, so little time!

Harwich, MA: Saddam Hussein has been deposed, no WMD's have been found, the elections are taking place, and the U.S. military is losing lives, ground, and legitimacy daily.
WHAT/WHEN IS OUR EXIT STRATEGY? Do we even have one?
Rod Nordland: It's very simple: last one out, please turn on the lights.

AND MY NUMBER ONE FAVORITE QUESTION AND ANSWER FROM THE LIVE CHAT WITH ROD NORDLAND!

London, England: Divide and rule is what the simpleton Americans use to control other weaker nations. What a pathetic, bullying, ruthless, cowardly lot you are!
Rod Nordland: E tu madre.

Posted by jodi at 12h30 | Permalink | Comments (5)

Sometimes, when I am in the restroom at work with a stressed out Type A person, I like to stand at the sink next to them. And while they wash their hands with rapid efficiency, I like to play around in the stream of water, splashing it around with my fingers, and maybe singing a little la-la song. The looks they give me amuse me. I only do this when I am stuck at the right hand sink, which emits water with the intensity of a small watering can, so it really is more like playing in water rather than washing your hands.

Posted by jodi at 12h32 | Permalink

I was just browsing the MovableType Tips and Tricks forum, reading thread about spam. People were complaining about TypeKey, oh it was too hard for their readers to register, it was too big of an obstacle, no one comments on my blog now, blah blah blah. There was someone from Six Apart in there for awhile, but she has been missing for the last page of posts. She's probably banging her head against the wall. Occasionally, I read the forums for my software. These forums created for users. And it drives me nuts. Mostly what drives me nuts are the people are yelling at us asking us if we are listening, or when they question our intelligence. Oh! I like it when they accuse us of hatching nefarious plots. People can be very insulting in the forums that companies post for the users of their software. On the one hand, The Six Apart girl was honestly trying to get feedback, about what made this feature unacceptable. And they were giving it to her... rather brutally. Honest feedback is good. But on the other hand, she was required to then bang her head on the wall to remove the bitterness that was building from reading the posts. [I'm assuming. That's my procedure at least.]

Anyway, I was tempted to post just to tell them to shut the fuck up. If you aren't getting any comments because you require registration, maybe you aren't worth it. *gasp. I'm a little sensitive about user forums* No, but seriously, lots of people require registration. I do not register right away, but if I comment more than, say, three times a week, well then it's worth it to me to do so. Many blogs require my TypeKey log-in and then I read some that require Blogger ID's. That's two ... only two, for all the blogs I read. Not everyone is registered to comment on my blog, but I am lucky enough to be able to moderate my blog fairly easily. I don't have that many commenters. Some people do not have time to moderate every comment, and to be forced to require registration to cut down on comment spam is unfortunate. But, things change, the entire state of Washington used to use one area code, now I have to use an separate area code to call my house from my office. I adapted, and I am not good at remembering numbers, kids. People will learn to adapt, they will learn to register on the blogs that really matter to them. Because this right here, this is war, [start humming the Battle Hymn of the Republic here] and the comment spammers are going down. I would think people who enjoy the blog world would be in favor of joining the fight by registering. Only YOU can stop forrest fires, campers!!

Yup, you guessed it. Not much going on ... outside of work. So I thought I'd just get all riled up and and righteous. n'shit.

Posted by jodi at 17h57 | Permalink