faster pussycat... type! type!

Frankly, I am surprised that no one covered this song sooner. This was the shocking song of my youth, well, teenage youth. I cannot even begin to calculate how many times I saw Purple Rain back then. It was constantly playing at the midnight movies. Not a whole lot to do in Tulsa, when you are a teenager. This song is the key pivotal moment in the movie in which Prince, the hero, makes Apollonia, aka: Vanity #2, cry. He does this by mentioning the taboo subject of self love, and then humping the stage floor. It was very upsetting to her. [I never understood that.]

Darling Nikki - Prince 1984

When I first heard this cover, I believe my words were "Fuck, YEAH! Why didn't anyone cover this before? That's hot." This song was not actually released on the album it was meant to be released upon, if that makes sense, per Prince's request. So they gave it to the radios to play, which is where I heard it, and had it for free download on the website for a while. I looove this cover. This may be my favorite Then and Now yet.

Darling Nikki - Foo Fighters 2003 [i think .. 'round about then]

Posted by jodi at 10h07 | Permalink | Comments (4)

I'm adopting. Yes, it's true. I am going to become a parent. TO A BAT!!! That's right, I've adopted a Grey Headed Flying Fox. I can hardly wait until I get my "endearing letter" from my bat! I'm so excited. I will be sure to update you when news of my bat arrives. Surely this will be the event, or purchase, that will fill that aching, longing, empty feeling I have, right?

So all of you having babies out there... Ha! Take that! I have a BAT!!

Meanwhile, this frightens me, I took a quiz, to find out what kind of bat I would be...

Posted by jodi at 22h13 | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (1)

This afternoon I went to a place, up on Capital Hill, called the Central Cinema. It's a small movie house that serves you food and drinks while you watch the movies. The popcorn is brought to you in a bowl. Not that I had any, I had 4 cheese pizza. The serve beer and wine, but no hard liquor. Maybe at later shows, however because shows after 10 are 21 and over only. We were there for the children's matinee. How can you pass up an opportunity to see The Goonies on a large screen? You can't. If the Goonies are good enough for you, they are good enough for me.

Next week's matinee is the Muppet Movie.

When I got home, I got out of my car and started walking down the drive, with a brand new 44 ounce Dr Pepper in my hand, to get my mail. The little girl across the street and her friend came over to me. I don't know her name, she wasn't born the last time I lived here. They had a large pump thermos and a tiny dixie cup with them. That's when I noticed the lemonade stand. They asked me if I wanted some lemonade, so I put my Dr Pepper down and said of course I want lemonade.

"The little brown things are just pieces of lemonade."

Excellent! Can't beat that for a quarter. Plus, the new Ikea catalog is here.

Posted by jodi at 18h36 | Permalink | Comments (2)

... I might change my name to Olivia Octavia. So my initials could be OOH.

What do you think?

Posted by jodi at 14h40 | Permalink | Comments (8)

The theme this week is hearts, be they broken, battered, bruised, loving, warm, big, cold, full, beating or transplanted.

Stay Fresh Heart
I keep my heart in the freezer, sealed tight in a tupperware container, back behind the ice cream, the frozen peas and the vodka. That way, when I am tempted to carelessly give it away again, I will have time to think twice. While I wait for it to thaw.

Posted by jodi at 0h10 | Permalink | Comments (10)

Yesterday, when I was driving home from work, I felt certain that someone must have slipped some funny mushrooms in my lunch. Because everything was so beautiful. The lake was so dark blue and deep, I wanted to jump off the bridge and go swimming. I didn't, because I would have had to stop the car, which would have blocked one of only two lanes of eastbound traffic. Also, you should know, this is a floating bridge, so it's not like I was high up I would have killed myself. However, the current was coming towards the bridge on my side and it could have slammed me up against some concrete, splitting my head like a coconut. So, not worth it. The greens were more saturated, the sky was clear and I could see every single mountain range, clear as day. Including Mount Rainier. It was so clear, I felt I could touch it. I'm fairly certain I saw deer. Of course, they looked like the ants that an ant would have at his picnic. If they had picnics.

So, what do you think? Funny mushrooms in my lunch? or was I just looking at things through a Photoshop filter.

Tomorrow's 50 word fiction theme is: hearts.

Posted by jodi at 16h50 | Permalink | Comments (7)

When I first moved into the Easy Back Apartment, oh.. about 10 years ago, I was petless. And soon I decided that maybe I was mature enough to handle the responsibility of a pet. But what kind to get? At this point, I did not think it was wise to try to get a cat, as it might pester my allergies. [Obviously, I changed my mind about that.] I was researching what type of pet to get. Bunny? Sugar Glider? Chinchilla? Soon, I noticed a small hive like structure on the roof overhang, over my balcony. It was tiny, and around it buzzed three little bees.

"Hello little bees!"
"bzzzzzz"
"Would you like to live here with me and be my pets?"
"bzzzzz"
"Awesome! I shall name you... Banjo! And you, I am going to name Butrous. No, just the one Butrous, you are too small for a double Butrous. And finally, you shall be... Babaganoush. Because I like saying it, that's why."
"bzzzz"

For a few weeks, the bees and I lived happily. I would come home from work and great the bees, ask them about their day. The never seemed threatened by me or behaved aggressively. But one day, I came home... and the hive was GONE!! Now, I lived on the top floor, the only way to get onto my balcony was through my apartment, or to crawl down, precariously, from the roof. Of course, the three bees were gone as well. They had been beeknapped. I waited for a ransom note. I never received anything. Some maintenance main probably thought he'd knock down the hive with a broom from the roof or something.

I mourned their loss. And not long after, I got Phoebe the Bunny aka: The B. Just one B.

Dan, I am so happy that you brought up wasps. Because it gives me the opportunity to share with you the audio of one of my favorite people I don't even know... Eddie Izzard. He shall explain to us the difference between Bees and Wasps. Bees are good. Wasps are fuckers.

Enjoy! I heart Eddie!

Posted by jodi at 21h46 | Permalink | Comments (11)

I.
A week or so ago I walked into the bathroom to see a ENORMOUS spider in my bathtub. It was trying it's 8 legged best to get out, but kept sliding down. Luckily, I had taken a shower the night before. I don't like spiders. I've been fearing them for, oh... as long as I can remember. [side note: have you noticed that spiders are less scary when they are lower than you, like on the bottom of the tub, vs. up higher than you, like the corner of the shower, where they jump down upon your neck, bite you, and kill you dead?] So I did the smart thing.

"Baby Kitty! Pruuuu. Pruuuudence! Baby Kitty! Pruuuuuu!! Help me please!"

It took her about five minutes to amble in, because I had already fed her breakfast, so there was no need for her to pretend that she was obeying me.

"What?" her little kitty face expressed.
"That! Look! No, over here, in the bathtub.. no, not the sink, get over here... never mind, I'll lift you. See? See the spider? Git it! Go git it!"

To her credit, Pru did stand on the edge of the tub and make her little hunting kitty yips. Then she jumped down into the tub, and proceeded to sit there watching the spider crawl all around her. I told her I wanted it "taken care of" by the time I got home from work.

When I got home, there was the spider, in the bathtub. He was very still, and looked a little peeked. But upon poking at him with a barrette, I found he was just a little worse for wear.

"Pru, what's up with this? You were supposed to take care of him."
"hmmm... oh, that's Nigel. I'm keeping him. He's fun."
"You've named him Nigel?"
"Yup... we're only making plans.. . for Nigel."

Pru hopped down into the tub and started batting Nigel around a bit. I was actually starting to feel sorry for it. She was playing with her food. Brutal.

I came back later to find, unlike some cats, Pru does not eat bugs. She only beats them to death. Slowly. Over several hours. I gave Nigel a water burial.

II.
Currently, I have a little pet spider that lives on, not in, my car. She's a tiny golden spider I have named Trixie. And she lives around the windshield. Every morning, when I am driving to work, I think that surely she has found somewhere safer to live. But no, she comes crawling out onto the glass, and waves a little leg at me. She's learned not to get caught up there when I get on the freeway, however. That makes her curl up into a tight little ball. Poor thing. She gets under cover now, when I start to drive fast.

Trixie is free to live on my car, as long as she doesn't come in, we are good. I kinda like saying "hi!" to her in the mornings.

In the next installment of Bugs Make a Fine Pet, we'll talk about my three pet bees who were mysteriously beenapped from my porch. Never to return. I still miss them. After that, I'm done with the bugs because I don't really like them very much.

Posted by jodi at 14h41 | Permalink | Comments (10)

I've been very bad about updating my books I am reading section. As well as the books I've read page. I just updated that with 4 books I've recently finished. And added a book down below that I am about to start: The Historian. I'm also re-reading a book I love:

"Bird by Bird : Some Instructions on Writing and Life" (Anne Lamott)

I'm sure if I talk up this book one more time... well, just take my word for it. Even if you don't write, it's delightful.

I have one final thing to tweak with the redesign, and I cannot figure it out. It's driving me nuts. But if you go to any category archive page, you can see the titles and underlines do not behave as other pages. Even the they all use the same styles. I really cannot figure it out. It's driving me batty.

And with that, I will take my batty brain to bed.

Posted by jodi at 22h52 | Permalink | Comments (2)

"What?! You are kidding me! Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot!"

Amelia: Whiskey Tango Foxtrot?
Me: I don't know....
Amelia: W T F
Me: Ohhh! What the Fuck. That must his way of saying "What the fuck?"
Amelia: Sierra! Hotel! Uniform! Tango!
Me: Uniform! Papa!
Amelia: hee! Uniform papa.

VERY IMPORTANT NEWS ANNOUNCEMENT: The monkee will be moving.... tomorrow!!

I do think I am moved to do a little dance!

Posted by jodi at 16h04 | Permalink | Comments (5)

I have fairly small feet, size 6.5. This means I have an extra shoe shopping option - the children's dept. Yes, I can wear little kid shoes. The sandals I am wearing today, I bought for my trip to NYC two summers ago. Because I knew it would be hot as hell, and I would be walking a lot. When I bought them, AlmostCertainlyGoingToEndUpEvilMaggie was two and she got the exact same pair. Hers were pink and purple, tho. I got the boys navy blue option. They were about $10 cheaper than the adult version would have been. I've often purchased converse sneakers from that dept. as well. Nordstroms.

I wore them today wondering - would little kid shoes give me little kid spirit? And if so, is it really my little kid shoes or my harlot red painted toenails? or both? Hard to say. Should have done a control study with just one or the other factor...

Reasons why you have to love Evildeb:
A co-worker of ours quit a couple of months ago, moved up to Vancouver BC with her husband and had a baby girl. She is coming down to visit later this month, and bringing the baby, so we are going to have... yes... wait for it... a party! I swear we have a party for everything. Why, today I got some cake... I am not even entirely sure why. I think it was because someone came back from sabbatical. I happened to be in the right place at the right time. And, to be honest... I had two pieces. But they had fruit! it was really a fruit tart! Anyhoo, back to this party, it's a good excuse for one, I think. Evildeb decided to have a high tea party. And this is what she said in the email informing our team.

We're going to have high tea. I know you boys will love it because it will give you an opportunity to exercise your pinky fingers in new ways.

You've got to love her. I wonder if we get to play dress up, first.

Posted by jodi at 17h19 | Permalink | Comments (4)

I can't say that this was ever one of my favorite breakup songs. I never even saw the movie. [But then, I never liked Journey's "Open Arms" either, that was supposed to be the quintessential make-out song of my youth. ] I think I would have turned to Depeche Mode if my heart was breaking, back in 1984, most likely. Nonetheless, I can remember snatches of the video for it.

Then
Against All Odds - Phil Collins 1984

Mr. Moon is actually to thank for brining this week's Now song. I like the spookiness in the beginning of this version. Then, somewhere in the middle, it goes almost "Mary Tyler Moore theme song" on you....in a good way. And then kind of poppy and spooky again. [Hey... what do you want from me, I'm not a music reviewer] Anyway, I like it.

Now
Against All Odds - Postal Service 2004

Posted by jodi at 9h51 | Permalink | Comments (4)

There are all different ways people can leave you. Some drift away slowly, you can feel yourself becoming more invisible to them, as whatever allure you used to hold for them fades. Some pass away after long lives lived fully. Some pass away suddenly, leaving great shock waves behind. And some just decide their ride with you ends here, this is where they are getting off and, oh, here is your heart, sorry if it's a little torn.

This seems to be a prevailing theme of July for me this year, so I am putting you all on notice now, the fun stops Sunday July 31st. That is when the Get Out of Jodi's Life Scott Free No Questions Asked card is revoked. After that, you try to leave without my say-so, I will hunt you down and pin you against the wall like a butterfly specimen in a bug box, playing Phil Collins music at you, at high volumes, over and over until you are able to see the error of your ways.

Do I make myself clear? Good.

EDITED TO ADD: Ok, perhaps I should point out that I was referring to Phil Collins' solo work, particularly in the 90's, which I find to be very grating. But some of you may like his later stuff. So the plan has been revised to use whatever music fits the situation. For example, if you wanted to break me, you'd play the Grateful Dead or Steely Dan at me. So now, the plan is, I will find your musical button, your musical achilles' heel, and use it against you. If you leave, without my permission, that is. That makes more sense, doesn't it?

Posted by jodi at 3h54 | Permalink | Comments (9)

Last week, I went into my am/pm for my usual 44 ounces of Dr. Pepper. I noticed that Loud Happy Edgar #14 had a small animal carrier behind the counter.
"What's in the carrier?" asked I.
"AAIIYYY .....I SHOW YOU!"
She opened up the hatch to show me four tiny baby birds, not old enough to be on their own. But I knew what they were, because this was not the first time she had done this.
"Baby finches?"
"YES! THEIR MOMMA DIED." She made the appropriate sad face, to show her sorrow. 'BUT!! THEY ARE SO GOOD! TODAY, THEY DO THE WINGS!!" And she bent her arms and flapped her elbows, like stubby baby bird wings.
"Did you show them how to do that? You did, didn't you?"
"OOOHHH .... MAYBE!" And she laughed.

One morning, I could not sleep, so I decided to go into work at 6am. I drove to my am/pm, only to find that it did not open until 6. I didn't know you could have an am/pm that was not open 24/7! The horror. So I went down the street to a newly opened Chevron Em Stop thingy. I had checked them out previously, and knew they had what I needed. He who shall be known as Chatting Geek Edgar #17, looked at my shirt.
"You're what? You're doing what?"
"I'm blogging this."
"Blogging... huh... I don't what that means."
"Really? That surprises me."
"Do you have a card? A punch card?"
"What is this punch card of which you speak?"
"Buy four and get the fifth drink free."
"MWAHAHAHHAAA!!!"
Suckers. I'll put them out of business by the end of this year. They'll rue the day they gave me a punch card for Dr. Pepper. However, they are weekend/backup Dr Pepper source only. Loud Happy Edgar #14 is worth a million punch cards. Easily.

Posted by jodi at 14h52 | Permalink | Comments (1)

I have a bruise on my left forearm. It's lurid in color, and larger than a silver dollar. It's a painful bruise, and underneath it, there is a lump. I have no idea how I got this bruise, but out of the corner of my eye, as I was writing tonight, I could not help think I had gotten a new tattoo. How very Popeye of me.

When a recipe says that you need strawberries "hulled," that just means you cut out those stems, right? You don't then go to cut the strawberries into piece? It's not a difficult recipe I am following, but I'd hate to screw it up from the get go.

Posted by jodi at 21h43 | Permalink | Comments (8)

And I needed an excuse to use my Shag font. And my favorite color. Plus, I got tired of all the white.

I'm still tweaking it. I have all the comment and archive pages to sort out.

Bravo everyone on your 50 word fictions. They are my favorite thing about Fridays, other than the fact of Friday itself. Being what it is. Traditionally.

Posted by jodi at 19h14 | Permalink | Comments (6)

Today's theme is foreign places. It doesn't have a be a foreign country, it could be a foreign climate or culture. Miami FLA is fairly foreign to a girl from the Pacific Northwest.

International Relations
He stared at her, a force to be reckoned with, wild curls and freckled face, stars in her eyes and stripes on her shirt. She smiled at him, taking a drag on a cold soda. He acquiesced. Her engine roared as she drove across the border, trunk full of mischief.

Posted by jodi at 0h10 | Permalink | Comments (7)

The theme is foreign places.

I miss you guys.

Posted by jodi at 20h49 | Permalink | Comments (5)

A week after my Grandma has died, we've had another death in the family. This time on my mother's side. And this time a suicide.

I'm going to need a little break, ok? Be back soon.

Posted by jodi at 23h51 | Permalink | Comments (11)

I have to say that both versions of this song, Then, and Now, give me great joy. I couldn't tell you which one I prefer, they are both genius. I guess props goes out, first, to Tom for wiring the song in the first place. A song of love, betrayal, and ultimately - fatale vengeance. Why, why why... oh Delilah. You little minx!

Delilah - Tom Jones 1968

This is the version of the song that I stumbled across that made me pick it for today's Now and Then. It usually works that way, backwards. This actually came out in 2001, but compared to 1968, that is Now. Come with me, once again, while we to go and pay another visit to slutty, doomed, Delilah with the Crash Test Dummies Dude.

Delilah - Brad Roberts 2001

Posted by jodi at 9h23 | Permalink

Hey, I don't know if you kids know this, but DrinkJack is documenting his road trip over on his blog. Day by day, complete with pictures. It is about to get exciting because he is about to meet me, face to face, for THE FIRST TIME EVER!! Unfortunately, there are few pictures of us together as I had lost my camera and Jack said he didn't want hard evidence that could be used against him.

Smart boy, that Jack. No one can prove we did anything wrong.

Posted by jodi at 14h42 | Permalink

Dr. Stevil: It's Harry Potter day.
Me: I know. I never pre-ordered it.
Dr. Stevil: and that surprises me
Me: I was doing other things... I never got around to it. I haven't been reading much the last few weeks.
Dr. Stevil: *slow bug blink to indicate disbelief and surprise*
KK: Like what?
Me: Well, the sims. And the chatting. [under breath] with boys.
KK: Ahhh... yes... boys.
Evildeb: What about the liquor?
Me: Oh, yeah, I forgot. Well, you can do either one of those while enjoying the liquor.
KK: Sometimes you can enjoy them more.
Evildeb: Liquor only adds to the enjoyment.
Dr. Stevil: Ok, boys and liquor are fine. But the sims and liquor, that's dangerous.
KK and Me: *slow bug blinks to indicate disbelief and surprise*
Me: And ... there is no danger of mixing boys and liquor? What?
Dr. Stevil: Well, you could really mess up your game.
Me: But... but... if you mess up with boys and liquor, that's your life! Besides, in the sims you can always quit without saving. You can't do that with a boy.
Dr. Stevil: No, I guess not... but you've invested so many hours in the game.
KK and Me: *look at each and wonder if Steve is serious.*
Me: Well, I usually save intermittently. Besides, if I truly fuck up a sim, I can just kill him and start over. You can't do that with a boy.
Dr. Stevil: I suppose you are right.
Me: I am so going to blog this conversation.
KK: it says so right there on your shirt.

Posted by jodi at 8h30 | Permalink | Comments (6)

Look, I know it's not anywhere near Friday here in Seattle, but it's probably Friday on the East Coast. And I am tired, have meetings all morning tomorrow, so I'll cheat on the time.

For various reasons, due to various chats and blogs, the theme this week is submission. Sassy! Doesn't have to be sexual in nature, but I know some of you can't resist. Mine is, so here is to hoping that the family stays away today.Bad boundaries! Maybe next week, we'll do dominance?

Submissive: adjective - ready to conform to the authority or will of others; meekly obedient or passive.
He was surprised she was into this, surprised she let him get her into this position.
"I am not meek or passive. I don't consider myself submissive," she said to him, pulling on the silken ropes tied around her wrists. "I consider myself.... barely contained. Still want to play?"

Posted by jodi at 0h01 | Permalink | Comments (9)

Last night I got less than 3 hours of sleep, the night before I got just 3 hours. It happens, I do that sometimes. But it makes me punchy. I'm tired and I sort of think I look like someone punched me in both eyes. So I chatted up Mr. Moon and asked him for a blog subject, because I didn't know what to write about. I was a drift in a sea of blank. The following is part of our chat, and an example of why I love Mr. Moon, and am so glad he is my friend.

Mr. Moon : i've been thinking about dualism a lot lately; one particular avenue of interest is man's desire to organize and classify, which promotes a status quo philosophy, and also man's desire for chaos, which promotes an anarchic philosophy
Jodi: that's a lot of stuff.
Mr. Moon : but the chaos is also usually accomplished through creative endeavors
Jodi: too complicated.
Jodi: give me something simple.
Jodi:i'd have to think a lot for that one.
Mr. Moon : really? um....
Jodi: i don't think i can manage that today.
Mr. Moon : alright....willie ames
Jodi: i was thinking i could explain women to all my male readers. they are probably curious.
Mr. Moon : i would love to have women explained
Jodi: i can do that
Jodi: does man have a desire for chaos?
Mr. Moon : yes, i believe so
Jodi: well, we need to sit down and discuss that.
Mr. Moon : too true
Jodi: then i can write about it
Jodi: cuz. i don't see it. or i don't know what you mean by it.
Mr. Moon : well, creativity, through artistic measures, has historically taken a non-status quo position. in fact, the art becomes celebrated by personalities that especially tend to appreciate the chaos
Mr. Moon : maybe i'm overgeneralizing
Jodi:: we need some fisher price people, some pipe cleaners, some duct tape, a half gallon of cherry kool-aid, five #2 pencils and a box of kleenix.
Jodi: then you can act out your theory for me with fisher price people
Mr. Moon :: alright, but i also need play-doh - don't worry, i'll supply it
Jodi: excellent
Jodi: will we need to be wearing bathing suits?
Mr. Moon : not you, but i might. because the dualism is excellently displayed with a mock synchronized swimming act
Jodi: if it's sychronized, who are you in sync with? justin timberlake, perhaps
Mr. Moon : well, it does involve a suspension of disbelief on your part. you will have to ghost myself right next to me. don't worry, i've got the glasses that allow you to do it
Jodi: you are so cool
Mr. Moon : i've been preparing for this very conversation
Mr. Moon :: but i had hoped that i would be presenting to the berkeley center of behaviorial sciences
Jodi: maybe i will just blog this conversation. :)

Posted by jodi at 16h57 | Permalink | Comments (5)

A very good friend of mine told me yesterday that he has not seen Barbarella. I find that hard to believe. How could you miss out on something this culturally important? I can still remember watching it for the first time, as a young girl, late late at night at my father's house. On one of those cable channels. I thought it was the naughtiest thing ever. Absolutely deliciously naughty.

My friend says he's not a Fonda fan, but ... what does Jane Fonda have to do with it? Oh, sure, she stars in the movie, but that is incidental. The true stars are the costume and set designs. As well as the dialog. The fact that she is in it really is of no importance. How are you going to understand the origins of Duran Duran, if you do not see Barbarella? [although, I was more of an Adam and the Ants girl, myself, back in the 80's] I actually live in fear that they will try to remake this movie. They'd ruin it. You don't go trying to remake the Mona Lisa, do you? Well, there are replicates, but that's not what I mean. You know what I mean.

Eventually, I hope to to rectify this, make sure that he gets a chance to see it. Oh sure, we might have to get him all liquored up before hand, but once he's seen it, he'll thank me for it. It's so good, it makes the Mathmos vomit. Who's with me here?

Posted by jodi at 17h16 | Permalink | Comments (8)

Every wednesday, over the last few weeks, a local radio station called The Mountain has played a song right after their"5:20 Funny."; I listened to it every week and it just got funnier and funnier to me. I shared it with the people at work, and they all loved it. So when Evildeb said to me, "Hey Jodi... did you know it's business time?" I replied, "Hell yeah, it's Wednesday! I should probably blog that."

The song is not available on CD. I got it from Defective Yeti, who has it in mp3 format, if you want to download. But here, for your listening pleasure:

Flight of the Conchord's It's Business Time

Posted by jodi at 13h18 | Permalink | Comments (3)

You know who does not get the attention, respect and accolades they deserve? Three Dog Night. Seriously. Tell me that you don't totally dig this song. I've loved this song since I was a little kid.

"... say the ladies are insane there, and they sure know how to use it."

sing it with me, now.

Posted by jodi at 23h47 | Permalink | Comments (7)

I want to thank all of you who sent comments and email with your thoughts for me and my family. It meant a lot to me. I called in weepy to work, but went in around lunchtime, because I thought it would be good to be productive. But you know, productive doesn't always come easy. I feel better now, and though I didn't really feel like blogging, earlier, I thought that Grandma would want me to. Actually, Grandma would just like me to wear something a little more feminine than the jeans I have on right now, that's what Grandma would have wanted. They have a hole in the butt! I mean really, Jodi, can't you dress like a lady for once?

Also, thank you to all who sent comments and email with your thoughts, and funny links, for me and my internet connection. It meant a lot to me. Apparently the secret to getting it back was waiting around. Seriously, I don't know why it works now. It did not work this morning, it works now. When it wasn't working this morning, on my mini or tower, it was still working on my powerbook. So... I don't know... god hates me? It's possible. I've been making plans for renewed focus on Satan's Bookclub. And let's not even go into what I was doing when I lost the connection in the first place.

*gasp!*

Ok, so, here, to honor the memory of Grace, my always stylish and fabulous paternal grandmother, I give you a sassy bathing suit shot of the two of us.

Posted by jodi at 23h02 | Permalink | Comments (4)

I didn't go to work today because I worked my way up to a migraine late last night, early this morning. At 9am, I was still trying to get rid of it. And I am in a very melancholy mood. I've been in that mood for a few days now, but yesterday and today were particularly sad for some reason. So I took PTO.

I guess I was practicing for the upcoming weeks. My grandma died this afternoon. Not the grandma that came to visit a few weeks ago, this was my father's mother, my paternal grandmother. I am going to be going to Arizona sometime this week. I haven't decided how, yet. Plane or automobile. But, again, perhaps in some kind of precognitive preparation, I've been wanting to go on a roadtrip these last few days. To clear my head and think about things. It's not that my life is all sad and horrible and I need to get away. I just seem to have a lot on my mind, happy and sad. I've been distracted at work, lately. I probably need some time off. I just thought it would be like happy time off. Maybe go up to the lake and float or something.

This is hitting me hard, and maybe that's because of my father, who passed away 11 years ago, quite suddenly. My granddad passed away 18 months ago, and Grandma has been sad, and lost and in pain since. It's not unexpected. Part of what I feel is relief for the end of her suffering. But part of me feels great sadness that she had to go through it in the first place. And I think it's really bringing the loss of my father up again. Now that his parents are gone. I shouldn't have had to lose my dad when I was 26, just barely starting to know him. And my little brother sure as hell shouldn't have to lose him when he was 12.

I don't know... a few days in a hotel with a pool and air conditioning and my thoughts will probably be good for me. Can't hurt, right?

Posted by jodi at 18h27 | Permalink | Comments (12)

Rabbits seem like very timid creatures, but they get a bad rap. If self defense is broken down into two options, fight or flight, they are only provided with one real choice: flight. Not unlike other herbivores on their level of the food chain. But if that is their only defense, they are well equipped to the utilize it. They have prominent ears and noses that help them sense danger. And very strong back legs for flight, and to use as a warning system to alert other rabbits of approaching danger. If you hold a scared rabbit against you, and trap it's back legs, it will break them trying to kick itself to freedom. And it will scratch the hell out of you, in the process.

But, if you gather the rabbits trust, it will climb all over you, capturing your smell and giving you little kisses. It will eat out of your hand and flop down next to you on the floor with a noisy, almost arrogant, laziness most people don't know bunnies posses. And, if you gain it's love and affection, it will let loose into a joyous bunny dance that few people even comprehend until they've seen it. Leaping and twisting in midair, full on bunny happiness and contentment. If you are patient enough.

Posted by jodi at 17h09 | Permalink | Comments (9)

I cannot connect to the internet at home right now. Not reliably. The only computer the works is my laptop, which I happened to bring home with me. But, this is unacceptable. I've spent hours on this thing. HOURS. It has something to do with the DSL modem and the router. Or maybe just the modem. And the computers. But not the laptop. There is no logic. God help me, I might have to call tech support. I don't even know which thing I need tech support for, at this point. Considering what I do, and the operating system I chose to use, I am the last voice you want to hear on the receiving end of a tech support call. Especially considering how completely INSANE I've become by now. Let us just imagine together...

Tech Support Agent: Thank you for calling ..
Me interrupting: Yeah... do you have a mac?
TSA: I'm sorry?
Me: Do. You. Have. A. Mac? on your desk? running OS X 10.4?
TSA: No, I don't, but...
Me interrupting: When does your mac guy work? I know you have one... at least... he probably only works for 15 minutes on Tuesdays and every other Thursday, right?
TSA: Uh.. well...
Me: Look, can I talk to a level 2?
TSA: Sure, but maybe I can help you.
Me: Sigh, alright, sport, give it a try.
TSA: Ok... [deep breath]... what version of Windows are your running?
Me: LEVEL TWO LEVEL TWO LEVEL TWO LEVEL TWO!!!
TSA: Please hold while I transfer you.

You'd think I'd be more sympathetic or something. God knows I would never put up with me if I had to tech support me.

Posted by jodi at 23h42 | Permalink | Comments (9)

Oh, this is so naughty! Before I remembered to add my father's last name in the quiz, my "daddy" was still Patrick Stewart, but I loved him because he took me to Disneyland.

Your Daddy Is Patrick Stewart

What You Call Him: Papi Why You Love Him: He gives good spankings

Your Sexy Brazilian Name Is

Lisandra Santoro

Posted by jodi at 16h16 | Permalink | Comments (2)

See what happens when I have a day off? I get all confused. I almost forgot it was Friday. The theme this week is in honor of DrinkJack: road trips. I'll be back later with my story, as I only got up to use the little girls room, and now I shall go back to sleep.

No Vacation Time
She glanced at her watch, it was a 90 minute trip back to her apartment, and her roommates, and she did have work in the morning. But, she could probably take the time for one more piece of pie. Sometimes, even a little road trip away from your life helps.

Extra special musical addition to 50 word fiction Friday vol 14!!

Just because this song spoke to me this morning. It said, "hey... don't I kind of go with the theme of the fictions today? Don't I really sum up your feelings on road trips? Your need to run away when things get complicated?"

And I said, "yes, you do. Now shut up and get back to the tunes, I'll post you later."

Wedding Day by Rosie Thomas

Posted by jodi at 3h07 | Permalink | Comments (10)

Louise brought this back from London for me. It is the first bag to seriously tempt me away from the devo monkey bag in five years. I do believe that squishy would fit completely within this bag. Click to see bag in larger glory.

Posted by jodi at 14h18 | Permalink | Comments (3)

So DrinkJack and I hung out Monday and Tuesday and it rocked.... because he rocks. Any day that starts with pancakes is good, and that's how we started the 4th of July. Then we went to my office to find my missing camera. I lost it somewhere between paying for pizza at the Moons on Friday night [I felt it in the bottom of the bag] and Saturday afternoon. I thought maybe maybe I was feeling something else in the bottom of the monkey bag, and I had left my camera at work, so we went to check. Not so. But we got all the pictures off of Jack's camera and uploaded to his server, to make room for more. Then we went all over Seattle. Some by car, a lot by foot. And once again I was left to wonder, why do we bring everyone to Pike Place Market? It's like a pre-req. You have out of town guests? They must go to Pike Place, or you lose your WA State Drivers License or something.

I felt it was necessary to show Jack Toys in Babeland, so we could turn on all the vibrators and giggle at the butt plugs. And that is where we saw this. [at least that looks like what we saw.] Which gave us pause. But nothing gave me more pause than this, the "fleshlight." Which confirms my theory that men's sex toys are creepy, unless they are using the same toys the girls do. And yes, I had to touch it to see what it felt like. Ooky. I think is a pretty good description of the "creamy cyberskin."

By that evening, we were tired so we headed back to my office, and then across the street to Costa's for flaming cheese and cocktails, and Jack got to see just what a light weight I am, when it comes to alcohol. I am lucky enough to work right on Lake Union, so when it got dark, we watched the big fireworks show over the lake. That's the first time I've seen a big fireworks show in many many years. I didn't know they could make smiley faces.

The next day we headed to Ocean Shores, so Jack could get his ocean on. It was overcast, and a little sprinkly. The ocean was grey, the sky was grey, but luckily the dunes are covered in nice green sea grass blowing in the wind. It was actually quite beautiful. After lunch, we rented mopeds to ride on the beach. It takes me more than a few minutes to get the hang of those things. To make sure I am not going to plant a facer in the sand. Off we went. Going down the beach, we were going a rapid 30 miles per hour, at times, with the wind. These babies had power! We meeped our mighty horns at the other moped riders as they were our peeps. Still just sprinkling a little bit. Until we turned back, to ride against the wind. Then it started raining for real.

Turns out, rain can kinda sting your face, when you are riding a moped against a fairly strong wind. We were lucky if we could get up to 20mph. At first I thought, I should take my glasses off, as I could not see through the spots. Then I found out rain can sting your eyes as well. So I put them back on. Then I stopped once more to wipe all the mascara that was running into my eyes, also stinging. Then I was ready. My right hand was numb from the sheer power of the motor, the awesome vibrations. I had to visually confirm I was gripping the handle, because I could certainly not feel it. We rode full throttle all the way back. Most people would have called the ride back unpleasant or at least uncomfortable. But you know what? It ROCKED. Sure, we were soaked to the skin. And had sand and salt all over us. But it was so much fun. You could not help but laugh. The moped guys called us troopers. This was not your sissy beach, this was a beach for the adventurous. Weaklings and pussies need not apply.

Afterwards we ran into the souvenir shop to buy dry shirts. But had to live with soggy drawers. Got caught up in some nasty traffic on the way back to Seattle. In fact, we ran into some of your more spectacular traffic all weekend long. I think everyone was showing off to Jack, so that when he got to San Francisco, he would just scoff and say "This is pussy traffic, you should see the traffic in Seattle." But it gave me plenty of time to talk him into a stupor. Which is fun.

After dinner, I finally let go of Jack long enough for him to jump in his truck and head south. Where he immediately ran into traffic and came to a complete stop on the freeway for the 90th time in two days. And then I found my camera.

Posted by jodi at 0h01 | Permalink | Comments (9)

Driving through Aberdeen, away from Ocean Shores and the Tsunami Danger Zone, Jack and I passed a blue shack, a store, with a handmade sign out front, It was advertising several things, but I only noticed two words, written extra large, underlined three times. "Pocket Rockets!" Something familiar about that...

Me: Pocket rockets?
Jack: They are small scooters or motorbikes.
Me: no they aren't... the pocket rocket is a VIBRATOR!! Let's turn around and go back. We can go in and ask to buy pocket rockets and when they show us stupid little motorcycles, we can say "No, that's not what we want, we want the pocket rocket... you know THE VIBRATOR!! a pink one please!"

Later... still in Aberdeen, still within the Tsunami Danger Zone, we pass a billboard:

There are many reasons not to have sex.
What's yours?

I guess they are taking up after those commercials that talk about your hobby being your anti-drug, but with sex instead. Somehow, it doesn't work as well for abstinence. After much discussion, we can come up with only one really good reason not to have sex.

Because nobody wants to have it with you.

Hence the popularity of the pocket rocket, I believe.

Posted by jodi at 20h57 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Yay! So lot's of people who like the Kate Bush. Let me ask you this, do you guys remember USA's Nightflight show? It was on late late on Fridays and/or Saturdays. Started in the earlyish 80's to the latetish 80's. Then it was replaced by "Up All Night." Not the same thing and not nearly as good. Nightflight was where I first heard, and saw, Kate Bush. I also remember they had lots of crazy animation and shorts. I remember an animated Lenny Bruce thing... it was the coolest show. We need shows like that now. But we'd never get 'em.

A few people mentioned that Kate is supposed to be working on a new album. And I am very much looking forward to that.

Posted by jodi at 12h24 | Permalink | Comments (2)

See below for Part One: Then

And here is Now:

Hounds of Love by Futurehead

Posted by jodi at 21h12 | Permalink | Comments (3)

On Sunday mornings, a local radio stations has a show called Resurrection Flashback. Featuring alternative music from the 70's, 80's and sneaking into the 90's. In other words, music from my generation, but more alternative than your basic 80's music show. They have a feature called Then and Now, where they play a song from an artist who has not been around in a while, but has something new. Or has been around all this time, but has something new anyway. But this morning they did a song, instead of an artist. They just happened to feature a song from someone I've been listening to lately, and wanting to hear more of, Kate Bush. The song was Hounds of Love. And I decided to recreate it here for you. So, part one.

Then: Hounds of Love by Kate Bush

Posted by jodi at 21h08 | Permalink | Comments (5)

Welcome to Lucky 13! You know, I was in one of those professional growth classes at work, where you are supposed to come up with ways you can start to fulfill your happiness and shit, and I stated that I would take baby step towards writing more fiction by doing a 50 word fiction every friday. I thought that was kinda funny. Anyway, someone from that class walked up to me yesterday and asked me if I was still writing my 50 word stories like I said I would. And I was proud to say, "Yes I am! Going on week 13 in a row!"

It's good to have tiny goals.

Ok, in honor of all the babies being born to people I know lately, and the babies about to to be born to people I know, and the fact that I finally got my Sims to have a baby, I give you this weeks theme... ready? It's babies. Saw that coming, didn't you?

Day Care Employee
They all arrived in the morning at once, they all cried at once, they all pooped at once, they all wanted to eat at once, they all seemed to want to throw up on her at once, so why on earth couldn't they all nap at once. Just once.

Posted by jodi at 0h01 | Permalink | Comments (13)