faster pussycat... type! type!

Labor day, sweet sweet labor day weekend.

Let all the children go back to school, I say. It's good for them.

I was in the grocery store today, with a cartful. I got in a particularly slow line, due to multiple price checks, but that's ok. I had a dr pepper, I was doing well. I wasn't in any hurry. When I finally got close enough, I walked around the other end of my cart and started unloading. That's when the two little girls queued up behind me.

You know how it is extremely rude to stand too close to someone when they are at the ATM? Well, is it just me, or is it also rude to walk up to someone else's cart, and take hold of the handle bar, when they've got their open purse sitting right there in the child seat, wallet sitting on top? I think it is. I think that my personal space includes my shopping cart and it's contents, when I am grocery shopping. And getting that close to my wallet, is, technically, in my dance space.

Then she started moving the cart back and forth ever so slightly, but enough to knock it into me repeatedly. These were female brats, in the 9 to 11 age range, with fists full of candy. And they kept sighing, loudly. And saying, "This line is so SLOW. It's going to take FOREVER! and WE only have 4 or 5 things."

And then looking at me.

To which I can only reply with a head tilt and look that my mom calls The Look, walk back around, take control of my cart and continue unloading as slowly as I can.

Get in the mother fucking "15 Items or less" land, candy lovers.

One day I am going to be an old lady. And I am going to have a mother fucking lawn. And those mother fucking kids will tramp all over it. It will be my job to stand on my porch and shake my fist at them. My mother fucking fist.

Posted by jodi at 22h28 | Permalink | Comments (6)

several inches removed from my head.

Posted by jodi at 23h09 | Permalink | Comments (5)

Me: I need to write something on my blog today.
Wm: Oh yeah?
Me: Yes, it's my five year blog anniversary today. What should I write about?
Wm: Write about how great I am.
Me: Ok!

It does seem important to mention that I've gotten a lot out of blogging. Many new friends, more comfortable with my writing, new ways to express myself, a place to post pictures of my cat. But, truly, the best thing I got out of my blog? My husband.

Happy Birthday little blog! I love you! I will buy you new crayons in celebration, because five is an AWESOME age to be.

Posted by jodi at 23h32 | Permalink | Comments (4)

I bought a plant. His name is Kevin. I don't know what possessed me to buy it, because plants tend to be short lived in my care. I have not had a plant in, probably, 10 years. First of all, like I said, they die in my home. And then, when I got the B, she ate what plants remained. She also ate the electrical cords, my shoes, my favorite chambray blue button up boys shirt from J. Crew. And even tho she passed away five years ago, RIP The B, I never bothered getting any new plants to kill.

Anyway, his name is Kevin, and wish him luck because he probably won't make it to autumn.

Man, I need a haircut.

Posted by jodi at 13h40 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Today is my one month wedding anniversary. I don't think there is an official gift for that one.

You might be asking, "so... how's that married stuff working out for you, Jodi?"

Well, I'll tell you what, yesterday I was sitting around, wishing I had some double stuff oreos. I might have mentioned that once or twice. So Wil gets up, walks to Safeway and BUYS ME SOME.

Marriage ROCKS!!!

Posted by jodi at 23h40 | Permalink | Comments (2)

The last few days I've been slipping into a bad habit of sleeping too late in the day, and therefore staying up later and later. Wil's always joked that I don't get up until right before he gets off work, at 2. Which is so not true. I used to make it up sometime in the 9 am hour. But not lately.

Anyway, since I'm up, this is the song stuck in my head right now.
Yes - I've Seen All Good People/Your Move

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The Hour. I watch it while I make dinner.

And I give you this link so you can go watch it online.

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and it's going to look exactly like this!

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The problem with Battlestar Galactica is, it never lets up. I can't handle the pressure. There is no fat on this show, you know what I mean? It's tense from the beginning all the way to the end. There are no light episodes in which everyone turns into puppets or they decide to put on a play to raise morale or everyone turns into children or whatever. No hilarity ever ensues.

We just finished watching season 2, and the other problem with BSG is SEASON THREE IS NOT OUT ON DVD YET!!

Although, I'm sure that I need a break. My heart can't take it IT'S TOO MUCH STRESS!!!

Posted by jodi at 23h03 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Evildeb suggested scrimshaw. I had to look that up in a dictionary. I don't think it's something I would enjoy. I think the harvesting of whale bone would upset me.

Any suggestions? And don't say housekeeping, because I tried that and I suck at it.

Posted by jodi at 21h49 | Permalink | Comments (7)

I know you do. They are very beautiful, thanks to my cousin-in-law, Bryce.

That closed mouth smile I have during the ceremony is apparently my face in a war between giggling, appearing properly serious, and revealing my discomfort at being the center of attention.

Posted by jodi at 23h22 | Permalink | Comments (7)

Every Tuesday thru Friday, when we are home, we watch the repeats of the Daily Show and Colbert Report at 4pm. The other day, Stephan did a Sport Report. Pronounced Spore Repore.

He's trying to become my hero.

Amelia might have something to say about that.

Posted by jodi at 12h36 | Permalink | Comments (0)

The new couch arrived last Thursday. Getting ready for the couch was a lot like getting ready for a baby would be, I imagine. Without all the cute little clothes you get to fold and put away. And hours of intense labor pain. But in the sense that stuff that occupied space had to go away. Luckily, we finally got our promised storage locker in the basement last week.

In reality, this couch is too big for our apartment. Way too big. But, it was just too good. It was more than couch. it was Couch. In the end, we actually had to measure the walls and our desks and other furniture, and draw diagrams in Adobe Illustrator to find a way to make it work. Which resulted in conversations like this
"There, how about that."
"I don't like it."
"Why don't you like it?"
"Because... I don't like it."
"I understand that, but what don't you like?"
"It."
Back to the drawing board, new layout and then reverse the positions of the debate. Finally, we found something that would work. One bookcase had to be sacrificed to the television and her accessories, one had to be moved into the bedroom, and the other remained where it was. Because, really, it's not like we were having dance parties in our living room. What do we need with Floor Space. It's a waste. What we needed was Snuggle Space.

Then kittens LOVE the new Couch.

One hour after the Couch arrived, a box full of books from Amazon arrived. And that, my friends, is why my posts have sucked the last four days. I've been pretty happily curled up on the Couch. And just when light at the end of the tunnel seems imminent, today... season 2.0 and 2.5 of Battlestar Galactica show up. Mmmm... dvd's. We watched, prolly,10 episodes back to back this afternoon, after Wil got home from work.

We so lazy.

Posted by jodi at 23h03 | Permalink | Comments (1)

I should make up a new rule. Any chance I have to include Kermit the Frog in a post, I'm going to use it. He's one of my favorite things ever.

Look at him, how can you not be uncheered by the sight of him. I desperately want the Jim Henson Think Different Apple poster. It's $300. I want it anyway. Amelia wants me to have it too.
Kermit The Frog - Rainbow Connection

I heard this version on a Coverville podcast, and it was just the excuse I needed to include some Kermit on my blog. Because, you know, of the new rule.
Sarah McLachlan - Rainbow Connection

Posted by jodi at 17h42 | Permalink | Comments (3)

Woman and child not included. Which is good because we barely have room for the couch.

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Neil Gaiman asked, on his blog, if we could please go see Stardust today, and so we did.

He needn't thank us directly, we were happy to do it.

Posted by jodi at 21h52 | Permalink | Comments (0)

is it possible that pie is at it's yummiest when eaten for breakfast?

And did watching this, while eating said pie, make it that much more enjoyable?

Posted by jodi at 8h23 | Permalink | Comments (1)

I made a pie today. I was able to do so because it has been fairly cool here lately. Upper 60's low 70's... I love it. I stepped outside my Pie Comfort Zone (PCZ) and made something different. I pretty much have pumpkin and pecan down pat. It's my job to make them for Thanksgiving. But it's not pumpkin pie season. In keeping with my P Pie theme, I made peach. I hunted the peaches down at the farmers market, skinned and butchered them myself. I did not, however, make the crust. I'm not a complete fool.

It turned out scrumdilicious. I would have taken pictures of the making and final product except... I'm no better at photography than I am cooking. Besides, my kitchen was a mess. And not in an interesting artistic way. I was cooking piles of bacon at the same time I was making pie. For bacon bits, for baked potatoes. Anyhoo, L is someone who not only cooks amazing things, but also takes fabulous pictures of what she is making. Go look at her site if you want to see pretty food.

I make up for the lack of "interesting" in my post by providing you with a nice link to another blog. See how that works?

Posted by jodi at 19h15 | Permalink | Comments (4)

I usually don't blog about my dreams because I think people don't really find your dreams as interesting as you do. So unless I can keep it brief, or really entertaining, I avoid it.

I'll keep this brief.

Last night I dreamt my stepfather was still alive. His wife called me to tell me they brought him home from the hospital because he wanted to die at home. However, it was very upsetting to see him like that, so they kept the lights off. In order to see where he was, they painted him with glow in the dark paint. And I could see them as they moved his arms and legs around, that's all you could see, as the rest of the room was pitch black.

So, what the fuck?

Posted by jodi at 19h43 | Permalink | Comments (1)

Christmas - 9th grade. Check out the feathered hair. That didn't just happen, kids. That took skill and serious time in front of the mirror.

Click to see the hair up close.

Posted by jodi at 16h45 | Permalink | Comments (4)

This is one of those entries that is run entirely by the cover version of the song, not the original. Not the hugest Motley Crue fan. I was more 120 Minutes than Headbangers Ball. But if this song makes you want to break out the spandex and hold a lighter up to your kohl eyeliner, than more power to ya. Let your freak flag fly, baby.
Motley Crue - Looks That Kill

I love Shivaree. I once came up with a book idea based entirely on Goodnight Moon, but I'm sure I'm not the first. I was so excited when the iTunes alerts sent me a message that they had a new album, Tainted Love: Matting Calls and Fight Songs. And imagine my delight when I saw it was an album of covers! Some obscure and lesser known songs, which only makes it more enjoyable in my opinion. Here is one of those rare instances when the cover improves upon the original, but that's really because it's more to my taste. I would like to point out to my husband that it does not break his cardinal cover song rule of "Don't Change The Pronoun." as well.
Shivaree - Looks That Kill

PS. I had a hard time picking which song from the album to use, so in the next couple of weeks, expect to see another one. It's all I can do to not post another one now, it was that close.

Posted by jodi at 12h43 | Permalink

I couldn't sleep last night, and I was listening to my iPod and I found a song that, basically, is Fridays.


Feist - Mushaboom

Posted by jodi at 11h43 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Fridays are our Saturdays. (and Saturdays are our Sundays, and so on.) Fridays are my favorite days. Fridays are the days in which we Get Things Done. Usually outside of the home. That may be one reason I like them so much, I don't get out much. Fridays are days which we might go to a movie, go grocery shopping, shop for something we need, generally run errands.

Yesterday we went shopping for a couch. And while shopping for a couch, I realized that this was why I liked Fridays so much. We were wandering through IKEA, testing couches, talking about which kitchen we liked best and why. It may sound pretty dull, talking home furnishings. But it is actually quite wonderful. Just being together, walking around, talking about housing dreams, commenting on the ugly stuff. In the past, I would have walked through IKEA alone, and enjoyed it. But it's not the same. It just made me... happy. Hokey? Perhaps. But I'm not sorry.

Saturdays are the days Wil gets to do whatever he wants, I don't drag him anywhere if I can help it. usually video games is what he wants. We did buy a couch, not at IKEA. It is THE COUCH OF MY DREAMS. We'll talk about that later.

Posted by jodi at 14h49 | Permalink | Comments (4)

Someone is parked in my reserved parking spot. This is a huge pet peeve for me. Nothing will send me into a white hot rage quicker than someone parking in my parking spot. I'm a very competitive parker. And by "white hot rage" I mean I said something like "OOOoooo! I'm so pissed! I am SO VERY ANGRY." There is a note on their windshield, I'll tell you what. So today's theme is justice. Because when I took the garbage out a few minutes ago THEY WERE STILL PARKED THERE!

If There Was Justice In The World
"It's so small. Look at it."
"I know, I think it will fit in the recycle bin, do you want a hand lifting it?"
"It's so tiny.... it was my car and now it's so tiny."
"Well, next time DON'T PARK IN JODI'S PARKING SPOT!"

Posted by jodi at 19h51 | Permalink | Comments (2)

It appears to be a game. In which bears cause you to rub your crotch. Your guess is as good as mine.

Posted by jodi at 12h26 | Permalink | Comments (2)

This month I will celebrate my fifth anniversary of blogging. I've decided to blog every day this month in celebration. Some people blog every day, I've never felt like I had to. But I've lost some blog skills in the last few months. So I'm bringing back Then and Nows on Sundays and 50 Word Fiction on Fridays. This month I am going to renew my commitment to my blog. Yay!

Now I'm going to save this and post it on the 2nd, because I've already posted today and I don't want to shoot my wad so early on in the game, right?

Posted by jodi at 10h45 | Permalink | Comments (3)

I've started watching Season One of the new Battlestar Galactica. Wil's already seen them and has wanted to own them for a while. I have heard really good things about the show, so I was able to look past the fact it was a remake of BATTLESTAR GALACTICA for pete's sake. Besides, BSG has the single most impressive, useful, and addictive fake swear word: frak. More useful than even "goram" I'm afraid. It's so cool, even Veronica Mars started using it in Season Three. And if it's cool enough for Veronica Mars, it's cool enough for me*.

So, I noticed the cargo hold on the one ship, the one that the President lives on, the name escapes me, looks suspiciously like the lowest car deck of a BC ferry, of the "Spirit of Whatever" type. And by "suspiciously like" I mean "exactly." And while "Boomer" and Helo were wandering around the bombed out Caprca City, I noticed a lot of things that looked very familiar. Such as the building that looked an awful lot like the Downtown Vancouver Library. And by "an awful lot like" I mean it was the Vancouver Library.

All this leads me to one conclusion. I am living on Cylon Occupied Caprica!!! AAAACk! Trust no one! They look like humans now! Run!!!

*you suck, the CW. Frak you.

Posted by jodi at 12h28 | Permalink | Comments (5)