Don't study so much that you get brilliant, go mad, grow a big bald egghead and try to take over the world, okay, 'cause I wanna go shoe shopping this weekend.
today i was talking to evildeb, like i do everyday... no, we were chatting. even though our cubes are next to each other, we were chatting. i mentioned to her that i have not seen a crazy person in a very long time. and that makes me sad. i like to see crazy people every now and again, because it keeps life interesting. and i don't feel so alone in the world. [i'm partially kidding] i also have had no reason to scold shoppers/consumers in any stores/mini marts/restaurants etc lately either. that really bums me out. i don't appreciate rude retail people, but i dislike rude shoppers even more. i've worked retail. i've been called names because i wouldn't let a woman through the gate and back into hallmark to buy easter grass, 20 minutes after we had closed and locked up all the money. i think i single handedly ruined easter for her. i like to think of myself as the champion of the retail worker, because i can say what they can't. i can turn to that bitchy lady and tell her that if she would SHUT THE HELL UP, then the process will work smoothly and she will get her chance at the clerk. but lately, no one has needed my special brand of retail justice. no one has even cut in front of me in line at the shell station check out counter, allowing me to then inform them of the practice of WAITING YOUR TURN and STANDING IN LINE. evildeb told me i have not been hanging out in the CRAZY NEIGHBORHOODS. but that's not true. i spent an entire day up on capital hill a couple of weeks ago. i was up and down broadway from one end to the other, and over to pike st. no crazies. and, in reality, the most significant personal interaction i have had with a crazy person was at a pf chang's in pristine suburban bellevue. crazy people migrate.
you know, someday i'm going to tell some screamy customer to shut the hell up because i can't hear myself buy shoes and they are going to punch me in the face. i wonder what my reaction would be. would i stand there, frozen in shock that someone would DARE invade my dance space and inflict harm upon my person? or would i instinctively punch back? i'd like to think i'd go all jerry springer guest on their ass. [oh TELL ME you did not just punch me, bitch. oh no you DON'T!!] i'd like to point out that i am an exceedingly polite customer/shopper, always appreciative, understanding, usually entertaining. i don't want people thinking i run around yelling at people all the time.
by the way, evildeb has a new phrase that she is trying to implant into our corporate, or at least department, vernacular. because it's so awful. "don't be a cry baby... be a TRY baby." she's so cute.