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septembre 10, 2003
You try fighting the forces of evil when your blood sugar's low!
today's entry, dear internet friends, is all about my friend - evildeb. mostly because i NEED to tell the bee story.
first of all, edeb talked me into doing something on monday, that may shock and surprise you. she talked me into signing up at the gym. we get a deal at Sound Mind and Body, through our employer. it's a gym i could NEVER afford otherwise. but now, it's $22 for 3 months. so she decided she needed a work out partner, and i'm it. but she's very very serious. she's scheduled work outs 3x's a week for the next 8 weeks, in my corporate calendar. she's volunteered to take my workout clothes home and wash them between workouts. [because i don't have a w&d in my apartment.] so... on monday... it's a work outing i shall go. it's good for me. i know. but man... exercising is just so not a jodiferous thing.
now evildeb is listening to some subliminal tapes. about exercise and weight loss. only they aren't all that subliminal, because they say the phrase aloud before they "suggest" it. so her speech is peppered with phrases like:
i drink plenty of fresh, clean water.
i can see and feel the inches melting away. [i asked her if it tickled, she said it feels slippery.]
i do and enjoy exercise that is safe for me.
I eat plenty of fruits and vegetables.
and when she says these things, her voice gets kinda empty and robotic. it's truly frightening. i'm going to plant some subliminal messages in her subconscious that make more sense.
clean jodi's house.
do jodi's laundry.
wash jodi's car.
and now... the bee story.
on saturday, i was taking deb and maggie back home, after going to denny's super pet world. we hit a drive thru expresso booth, to feed her evil addiction. double short non fat extra hot latte. so she takes her first sip and i hear her say "there is a bee in my latte." i turn to her and look for the bee. but it's down on the floor of my car. dead and soggy. i'm thinking she took off the lid and saw it. but no... she found it because she SIPPED IT!! and then she spit it out on the floor of my car. she was traumatized! i was traumatized! maggie was crying, albeit was because she was tired and wanted french fries. but still! obviously, we are going to have to sue that little espresso stand. for mental anguish. ewwww.... can you imagine? a dead bee in your coffee and you drink it!! thank god she didn't swallow.
so that's the bee story. you know what's funny? they made her another latte, but don't you think they might have done something more. like give her her money back or something?
Posted by jodi at septembre 10, 2003 01:32 PM
that is VILE! that is so disturbing. a dead bee? IN HER LATTE? blaaaah. what if she were allergic and accidentally stung herself? she could have DIED! i think they need to pay for jacob and maggie's college tuition to make up for it.
Posted by: arifa at septembre 10, 2003 03:40 PM
eww eww eww eww. and that's all i have to say about that. eww.
Posted by: loon at septembre 10, 2003 07:28 PM
I can still feel that dead bee in my mouth.
However, being a caffeine addict the flow of latte's through my body was not slowed by the incident and I drank the new latte she gave me, at first cautiously, in about 5 minutes.
And another thing. The reason I was able to drink the latte in 5 minutes was because it was NOT EXTRA HOT. I always order my lattes EXTRA HOT. But they NEVER ARE!
Sometimes it makes me mad but sometimes it's just depressing. I can rail against the proliferation of lukewarm lattes, but it doesn't do any good. The ratio of extra hot lattes to tepid lattes is ridiculously low. Plus which, people make fun of me for ordering a double-short, non-fat, extra hot latte in the first place so A) I am ridiculed for being high maintenance and B) the latte is still not EXTRA HOT!
It's very sad. Almost as sad as a poor dead bee drowned in a cup of lukewarm latte.
Did you know my name in Hebrew means honeybee? The symbolism is almost overwhelming.
(I'd ramble on but it's time for me to drink plenty of clean, fresh water and possibly do and enjoy some exercise that is safe for me.)
Posted by: Evil Deb at septembre 11, 2003 10:55 AM
Down with the overabundance of lukewarm latte's, I say! I mean, think about it, if the latte had been extra hot, as specified, the bee probably wouldn't have gone anywhere near it, in the first place, thus, extending it's life, and saving Evil Deb from the trauma of finding it, while taking a sip.
I'd make a point of telling the employees of the offending coffee stop that it's to be extra hot, and that if it had been exacted, as ordered, on the fateful day, no bee would have been anywhere to be found!
Posted by: Romy at septembre 11, 2003 11:45 AM